Boners

Boner Candidates July 29, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: NOT BATMAN

Seattle police have arrested a man who they say threw a batarang at officers. Police were called to a Capitol Hill bar on Monday night after an employee was threatened by a man carrying an “improvised spear” consisting of a knife on a metal pole. Officers chased the suspect, who threw “a sharp, Batman-style throwing star” at a police SUV, according to a press release. Police have posted photos of the unusual weapon, which embedded in the lower front of the vehicle. Seattle police did not immediately release the name of the 23-year-old suspect, but they confirmed on Twitter that he is not Batman. He was booked into King County Jail on a felony assault charge and may also face weapons and obstruction charges.

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Boner Candidate#2: HEY, COOL-A FAKE LEG.

A California toddler learned the hard way that life’s not a beach — after someone stole his prosthetic leg on his first ever visit to the shore. Liam Brenes, 4, was having the time of his life Sunday as he soaked up the sun at the Crystal Cove State Beach in Orange County. His father, Frank, told him to leave his Star Wars-themed prosthetic leg — which he got when he was 1 due to a rare bone disorder called FATCO (fibular aplasia, tibial campomelia and oligodactyly) syndrome — in the sand with the rest of the family’s personal belongings so it didn’t get damaged by the salt water. “We were in the water for two hours,” Liamtold KABC-TV Los Angeles. “And came back and everything was gone. They stole my leg.” The thieves also took off with the family’s cellphone, wallet and camera. “It’s just heartless. It’s a child’s leg, you know? He needs it to be able to get around and function normally,” his mom, Amanda, told the local TV station.

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Boner Candidate#3: THOSE DOUGHNUTS CAN BE ADDICTIVE

A Florida man claims he was wrongfully arrested when cops mistook doughnut frosting — for crystal meth. Back in December, Orlando motorist Dan Rushing said he was pulled over for running a stop sign before giving police permission to search his car,WFTV reported on Thursday. “They said, `We found what we thought was crack cocaine in the beginning, but now we think it’s methamphetamine,’ ” Rushing told the ABC affiliate. That meth turned out to be Rushing’s real drug of choice – Krispy Kreme doughnuts. “Every other Wednesday, I stop at Krispy Kreme and get a doughnut there,” he said. “And they (police) found four little flakes of the icing.” Orange County, Fla., court records showed that Rushing was charged with possession of meth. The case was dropped a month later when tests from the state’s Department of Law Enforcement showed it was, in fact, icing.

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