Boners

Boner Candidates September 8, 2016

Boner Preview #1: SO WHY WOULD YOU PUNCH A DOLL?

A man punched a newborn baby in the head in Tesco – then claimed he thought the baby was a doll. Five-day-old Elsie Rose Temple was rushed to hospital in an ambulance, but is not believed to have been seriously injured. Proud mum Amy Duckers was showing off her new baby at the supermarket in Wythenshawe, near Manchester, when the man attacked. She told the Manchester Evening News: ‘We all heard the punch land on my little baby. We didn’t react at first as we were just so shocked. Then I just screamed. ‘He could easily have killed her.’

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Boner Preview #2: EXPLODING SCUBA BONG REMOVES MAN’S TESTICLES

A 29-year old Calgary local has suffered extensive injuries to his lower body after an unconventional attempt to ‘fill a scuba tank with weed smoke’ failed spectacularly last Thursday night. According to the testimony of several witnesses, Robert Palmer had consumed a copious quantity of alcohol before making the decision to demonstrate the home-made device.

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Boner Preview #3:ROUGH AND TUMBLE POLITICS IN LOGAN

Dave Clark Memo

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