Boners

Boner of the Day for June 25th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1:I CANT BREATHE….OH, SORRY

A Scottsdale City Council member who said “I can’t breathe” while wearing a face mask and addressing a crowd of protesters opposed to coronavirus rules has apologized. Councilman Guy Phillips said “I can’t breathe” twice before taking off his mask at the rally Wednesday, video shows. Those are the same words George Floyd, a Black man, said while pleading with a white police officer who was kneeling on his neck in Minneapolis before he died May 25. The officer seen kneeling on Floyd’s neck and three other officers have been fired and criminally charged. Floyd’s death and video of the incident set off protests against racial injustice and calls for police reform across the country, including in Arizona. “I can’t breathe” has been chanted and repeated often by protesters.  Scottsdale Councilman Guy Phillips appeared to deliberately make the remark at an anti-mask rally.KPNX “It was a stupid and insensitive comment that I shouldn’t have made, and I had no intention of disrespecting anybody while making that comment,” Phillips, who began his second term in 2017, said in a phone interview with NBC affiliate KPNX of Phoenix.

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Boner Candidate #2:WE NEED ‘FUNKY LOOKING PEOPLE’

“Do you have an overbite, face burns, long skinny limbs, deep cheekbones, lines on your face, acne scars, ears that stick out, bulbous or interesting noses, small eyes, big eyes, any deformities, skinny faces, missing limbs?” If you answered yes to any of the above, then you could be what a New Zealand casting agency has described as a “funky looking” person, and therefore be a suitable candidate for an upcoming television series based on The Lord of the Rings. That such a call-out seems tasteless at best and deeply problematic at worst doesn’t seem to have occurred to them. BGT Actors Models & Talent—the agency charged with finding talent for the Amazon Original series, among other shows and movies—posted an “urgent” callout to their Facebook page yesterday, asking for any New Zealanders who look “unusual” to put themselves forward. “At the moment we are casting for loads of different shows. We need general extras aged 18 to 99,” said BGT director Sarah Valentine in the Facebook video. “[Do you have] wrinkles? Teeth missing? Wonky eye? No eye? Glass eye? Can you take your eye out? Have you got a burn scar? Have you got limbs missing?” Other desirable candidates include people who are tall, short, and/or hairy—with Facebook users being urged to “tag a friend” who might fit the bill.

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Boner Candidate #3:DID YOU SAY….”AND DEAD ALLIGATORS?”

A group of people were arrested on Staten Island while hauling a load of fireworks and three dead alligators, cops said Wednesday. The NYC Sheriff’s Office said that 10 individuals were charged in connection with multiple counts of unlawfully dealing with dangerous fireworks and unlawfully transporting 3 alligator carcasses. “We are not making that up,” the sheriff’s office tweeted, in an apparent reference to the dead alligators. The bust was the result of a fireworks trafficking investigation, they added. The arrest came amid a spate of fireworks debacles as the explosives have wreaked havoc across the five boroughs amid the coronavirus pandemic. Earlier on Wednesday, a 3-year-old boy was struck by a firework that flew through the window of his Bronx apartment. On Tuesday, fireworks sparked a blaze at a Bronx apartment building when it landed on the roof.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1:GIVE US BACK THE MONEY.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars in coronavirus relief payments have been sent to people behind bars across the United States, and now the IRS is asking state officials to help claw back the cash that the federal tax agency says was mistakenly sent. The legislation authorizing the payments during the pandemic doesn’t specifically exclude jail or prison inmates, and the IRS has refused to say exactly what legal authority it has to retrieve the money. On its website, it points to the unrelated Social Security Act, which bars incarcerated people from receiving some types of old-age and survivor insurance benefit payments. “I can’t give you the legal basis. All I can tell you is this is the language the Treasury and ourselves have been using,” IRS spokesman Eric Smith said. “It’s just the same list as in the Social Security Act.” Tax attorney Kelly Erb, who’s written about the issue on her website, says there’s no legal basis for asking for the checks back. “I think it’s really disingenuous of the IRS,” Erb said Tuesday.

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Boner Candidate #2:WE’RE FAMILY

On June 23, a Palm Beach, Florida, commissioner’s meeting became heated when residents disputed the unanimous vote to make face masks mandatory. Video of one Florida resident in particular started trending on social media due to her passionate speech making reference to Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton and more. The video was shared by Rex Chapman and has so far been viewed over a million times: Many other clips of the meeting were posted online, with social media users pointing out that the scenes of angry residents resembled those in the popular sitcom Parks and Recreation. The vote took place on Tuesday and commissioners agreed in a 7-0 vote to make masks mandatory for all residents and visitors to Palm Beach County. Masks will be mandatory in public buildings like grocery stores and restaurants. Videos of the meeting showed that many residents were unhappy with the commissioners for their decision.

Boner Candidate #3:A DEEP STATE RANT

The mother of a Lycoming County robbery suspect has been accused of being his getaway driver. Lori Ann McHenry, 52, of Muncy, is alleged to have admitted driving her son, Steven James Martin, to and from Sam’s Place Lottery & Tobacco store and providing false information to investigators. She was charged last week by state police with conspiracy to commit robbery and theft and was released on $50,000 unsecured bail. Martin, 28, is jailed without bail awaiting trial on robbery and related charges. He is accused of being the well-disguised armed robber who just before 10 p.m. on March 18 got away with $3,570 from Sam’s, which is east of Muncy. Surveillance video across the street from where Martin and McHenry live on Carpenter Street showed a Lincoln town car leave at 9:41 p.m. the day of the robbery and return at 11:14 p.m. Investigators said they had determined from other surveillance video that McHenry had lied to them on where she and her son allegedly had driven that night. Based on information provided by McHenry, police said they searched the house May 6 and found items Martin allegedly used in the robbery. They included a pellet gun, a camouflage face mask, black goggles, blue Penn State sweatshirt, black gloves, gray sweatpants and gray sneakers and a drawstring bag, police said.

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