Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for March 30 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: ALLAHU AKBAR AT THE FESTIVAL OF PURIM DID NOT LIGHTEN THE MOOD

A French Jew strolled into his synagogue dressed as a gun-toting jihadist, shouting “Allahu Akbar” — in an attempt, he said, to “lighten the mood” after last week’s terrorist attacks.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: WE HAD TO DO IT. THERE ARE NO NICE BUILDINGS IN RHODE ISLAND

Maybe the state should be called Rhode Iceland.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: JUST ANOTHER DAY BEING GROPED AND PEPPER SPRAYED AT A TRUMP RALLY

A 15-year-old girl was sexually assaulted before being pepper-sprayed in the face outside a Donald Trump rally in Janesville, Wisconsin on Tuesday, police said.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: I’M NOT SUING BECAUSE YOU ARE A BAD SURGEON, I’M SUING BECAUSE YOU ARE A LIAR

A Milford woman has filed a lawsuit claiming that she had to undergo two surgeries on the same day after a surgeon-in-training operated on the wrong body part and then lied about why a second operation was needed.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: I WAS STARTING A COLLECTION OF PATIENT CROTCH SHOTS

Kristen Johnson was forced to give up her license as part of a plea deal where she pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disseminating of unlawful surveillance photos.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: HE USED THE SAME SKILLS TO BEAT THAT WOMAN THAT HE NEEDS ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD.

Mississippi State football recruit Jeffery Simmons was charged Monday after a video surfaced showing him punching a woman in a street fight.

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