Boners

Boner Fight for February 19th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: YOU’D LIKE TO TRY ONE OF MY CUPCAKES, WOULDN’T YOU DEAR?

She had plenty of takers — but her behavior at their homes struck the customers as bizarre. She kept taking selfies with all of the babies, according to the Pierce County Sheriff’s Department. She kept wiping off her fingerprints from everything she touched. And then there was the cupcake. During a photo shoot on Feb. 5, Parker and her 16-year-old daughter offered the treat as a gift to a new mom, claiming they ran a bakery together, Pierce County Detective Ed Troyer told The Washington Post. The woman ate it — and before long she started to feel seriously ill. The unnamed woman ordered Parker and the 16-year-old girl to immediately leave, and then she called 911 for help. After Parker left, the woman accused her of covertly stealing her house keys. Now, police say they know why: It was allegedly all part of Parker’s plot to steal the woman’s baby, flee the state and raise the child as her own. Parker, a onetime mayoral candidate in Colorado Springs, was arrested Friday along with her 16-year-old daughter at their home in Spanaway, Wash., and charged with attempted kidnapping and assault. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: TICK TOCK.

A woman was arrested in Cache County Monday for allegedly sending threatening text messages to her coworkers, because she was worried about getting fired. Court documents state Brittany Valentine, 21, was charged with one count of threat of terrorism, a second-degree felony on Thursday. A supervisor at a unidentified workplace in Logan City received a series of text messages from an unknown number at approximately 6:50 p.m. that read, “You’ll want to evacuate your workplace ASAP [purple devil emoji],” “Tick Tock [purple devil emoji, bomb emoji, explosion emoji]” and “You think it’s all games? You have 1 hour to diffuse [bomb emoji].” The supervisor asked the person where she worked and what her name was. The reply included the woman’s name, workplace and the color of her vehicle. The threat was reported to police, the building was evacuated and all of the employees were sent home for the night. Police found no evidence of a bomb. Valentine and another employee reported getting a text from the number in question at approximately 7:34 p.m. It read, “Danger is in the air.” Court documents state the number was traced to a TextNow account belonging to Valentine. At first, she denied sending the texts. Read More

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