Boners

Boner of the Day for February 19th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: UPSKIRT

A manager at an ice rink in Tampa is facing a video voyeurism charge after police said he took an “upskirt” photo of a teenage girl last month. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said Michael Benson, 48, was waiting in line at the Chipotle on Dale Mabry Highway North when he allegedly used his cell phone to take an inappropriate photo or video underneath the teen’s clothing. Authorities say the incident took place on Jan. 20, but surveillance video from inside the restaurant was released yesterday on the sheriff’s office Facebook page. In it, you can see a man looking around the restaurant before bending over with his phone. According to law enforcement, this isn’t the first time it has happened. According to management, he has been visiting the establishment several times a week for the last five years, normally during lunchtime hours. Not long after sharing the surveillance video, deputies said Benson was arrested at Xtra ICE on Feb 13. He was released Thursday after posting $2,000 bail. Deputies say tips from the public helped with identifying and arresting him. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: YOU’D LIKE TO TRY ONE OF MY CUPCAKES, WOULDN’T YOU DEAR?

She had plenty of takers — but her behavior at their homes struck the customers as bizarre. She kept taking selfies with all of the babies, according to the Pierce County Sheriff’s Department. She kept wiping off her fingerprints from everything she touched. And then there was the cupcake. During a photo shoot on Feb. 5, Parker and her 16-year-old daughter offered the treat as a gift to a new mom, claiming they ran a bakery together, Pierce County Detective Ed Troyer told The Washington Post. The woman ate it — and before long she started to feel seriously ill. The unnamed woman ordered Parker and the 16-year-old girl to immediately leave, and then she called 911 for help. After Parker left, the woman accused her of covertly stealing her house keys. Now, police say they know why: It was allegedly all part of Parker’s plot to steal the woman’s baby, flee the state and raise the child as her own. Parker, a onetime mayoral candidate in Colorado Springs, was arrested Friday along with her 16-year-old daughter at their home in Spanaway, Wash., and charged with attempted kidnapping and assault. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SIR, I THINK YOU’LL NEED TO FOOTNOTE THAT TATTOO.

His face tattoo says “crime pays” but an Indiana man is finding out that may not be true. Terre Haute Police say Donald Murray led officers on a short chase. Now he’s facing a number of charges, including resisting law enforcement, reckless driving, possession of methamphetamine and auto theft. Murray was also arrested last year when he led police on another chase. Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE ELDERLY.

Just in time for Valentines Day, and love is indeed in the air, but there is also a foul odor of fraud at play and here’s a timely reminder to use your head and not your heart in the never ending chase of romance in the pants. The Oregon Division of Financial Regulation would like to warn you, don’t get catfished. Recently, an 80-year-old widower was catfished out of $200,000 by an unidentified fraudster who first stole a Florida woman’s identity to befriend the Oregonian through an online dating service, and then persuaded him to send money for a business opportunity.
Over several months, the con artist convinced the elderly man that they were in a long-distance romantic relationship, and proposed an opportunity to support an art gallery in Florida. The scammer pretended to seek investors to cover $5 million in transportation costs to ship a 500-ton marble lion sculpture from China. The con artist promised that investments would be returned plus a percentage of the profits from the sale of the sculpture. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: TICK TOCK.

A woman was arrested in Cache County Monday for allegedly sending threatening text messages to her coworkers, because she was worried about getting fired. Court documents state Brittany Valentine, 21, was charged with one count of threat of terrorism, a second-degree felony on Thursday. A supervisor at a unidentified workplace in Logan City received a series of text messages from an unknown number at approximately 6:50 p.m. that read, “You’ll want to evacuate your workplace ASAP [purple devil emoji],” “Tick Tock [purple devil emoji, bomb emoji, explosion emoji]” and “You think it’s all games? You have 1 hour to diffuse [bomb emoji].” The supervisor asked the person where she worked and what her name was. The reply included the woman’s name, workplace and the color of her vehicle. The threat was reported to police, the building was evacuated and all of the employees were sent home for the night. Police found no evidence of a bomb. Valentine and another employee reported getting a text from the number in question at approximately 7:34 p.m. It read, “Danger is in the air.” Court documents state the number was traced to a TextNow account belonging to Valentine. At first, she denied sending the texts. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: I’M IN A LOT OF PAIN.

A 26-year-old New York man, who initially told police during a traffic stop that he was carrying a personal stash of marijuana, was later found to be in possession of 70 pounds of the drug, according to Valparaiso police. The large haul, which was found in luggage in the rear of Marcus Allen Molina’s vehicle, is valued at more than $200,000, police said. Molina was stopped at 2:30 p.m. Monday along a stretch of the Indiana Toll Road by a Valparaiso police officer assigned to the Porter County Highway Interdiction Team, police said. The vehicle was stopped after committing multiple infractions, and the officer reportedly noticed indications of marijuana possession or consumption within the vehicle. Molina admitted to having a large quantity of marijuana in the vehicle, police said. Molina was taken into custody at the Porter County Jail and faces charges of dealing and possessing marijuana. Read More

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