Boners

Boner Fight April 5th 2017

Boner Candidate #1: GUH-HILK!

He’s in deep shirt now. A Pennsylvania man arrested on suspicion of DUI was wearing a shirt that can be described, at best, as ironic. When Elwood R. Gutshall was arrested around 12:15 a.m. on March 19, the 44-year-old was wearing a green shirt reading “Drunk Lives Matter.”  On 3/19/2017 at approx. 00:15hrs the Newville Police Dept. observed a green Ford pickup committing multiple traffic violations. The vehicle was subsequently stopped and the driver was identified as Elwood R Gutshall III (44) of Newville, PA. After subsequent investigation it was determined the driver was under the influence of alcohol beyond what he could safely operate a motor vehicle. Gutshall was taken into custody and taken to the Cumberland County Booking Center for a legal blood draw. Gutshall’s BAC returned at .217% and he is charged with DUI Highest Rate, driving under DUI suspension, and traffic violations. Officers say they observed Gutshall committing multiple traffic violations in a green Ford pickup. “After subsequent investigation it was determined the driver was under the influence of alcohol beyond what he could safely operate a motor vehicle,” according to the department’s Facebook post.

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Boner Candidate #2: THIS WILL BE GREAT ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE

A terrified maid pleaded for help as she dangled from a seven-story building, but her employer just filmed as she lost her grip and plummeted below, the shocking footage shows. The Ethiopian worker, who survived the fall with just a broken arm, claims she was fleeing someone trying to kill her inside the apartment in Kuwait. “The lady put me in the bathroom and was about to kill me in the bathroom without anybody finding out, she would have thrown my body out like rubbish, so instead of staying there I went to save myself and then I fell,” she said, according to local media reports. The footage shows the maid gripping to the balcony and crying, “Hold me, hold me,” but her Kuwaiti boss just replies, “Crazy, come,” before the woman’s hand slips and she falls, landing on a metal awning not far from the ground.

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