Boners

Boner (Round Two) for April 5th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: BUT MY FRIENDS NEED TO KNOW ALL THE COOL STUFF I’M DOING

These idiots should serve as a warning to other would-be fraudsters: If you’re scamming the system, don’t post the proof on Facebook and other social media. Scores of former city cops and firefighters have been convicted of swindling disability benefits since Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance filed charges in 2014. The massive Social Security scheme involved the retirees’ claims that they were unable to work due to mental illnesses including post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and depression. Many falsely said they suffered the psychiatric ailments after searching for victims at Ground Zero — leading authorities to blast them for dishonoring and disgracing first responders who died in the September 11 terror attacks.

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Boner Candidate #2: THIS WILL BE GREAT ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE

A terrified maid pleaded for help as she dangled from a seven-story building, but her employer just filmed as she lost her grip and plummeted below, the shocking footage shows. The Ethiopian worker, who survived the fall with just a broken arm, claims she was fleeing someone trying to kill her inside the apartment in Kuwait. “The lady put me in the bathroom and was about to kill me in the bathroom without anybody finding out, she would have thrown my body out like rubbish, so instead of staying there I went to save myself and then I fell,” she said, according to local media reports. The footage shows the maid gripping to the balcony and crying, “Hold me, hold me,” but her Kuwaiti boss just replies, “Crazy, come,” before the woman’s hand slips and she falls, landing on a metal awning not far from the ground.

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Boner Candidate #3: GET ME TO THE WAFFLE HOUSE! GET ME THERE NOW!

Trash at its finest. Yes, this occurred in Florida. And yes Terra Virgin is a teacher. But shockingly this story does not involve a teacher hooking up with a student. So that’s the good news. Unfortunately, the teacher in this story actually made a teen drive her to Waffle House because she was too trashed to drive. Well, at least she didn’t get behind the wheel.
The 32-year-old was arrested for child neglect after she allowed her boyfriend’s 14-year-old son drive her to a Waffle House because she was “too drunk.”

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