BONER CANDIDATE #1: I SURE PICKED THE WRONG TIME TO PRETEND TO BE A COP
A man accused of posing as a police officer got a heavy dose of karma Friday after he pulled over a van in Hicksville, N.Y. that just happened to be full of police detectives, according to the Nassau County Police Department. According to police, 25-year-old Valiery Portlock was driving in a black Nissan Sentra on Hicksville Road near Roosevelt Avenue in Hicksville around 11 a.m. Friday. That’s when police say he turned on emergency lights and started blowing an air horn, telling the van to pull over. That van was full of detectives from the Nassau County Police Department’s electronics squad. As soon as the detectives told Portlock who they were… police say he tried to flee by speeding away into oncoming traffic. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: HE PROMISED THE ALL NIGHT SEX BUT DID NOT DELIVER
A woman has been accused of setting fire to a man’s home after he invited her to his house for late-night sex then promptly fell asleep and did not hear her at his door. Taija Russell, 29, is alleged to have sent a series of furious doorstep texts to the slumbering amour before buying lighter fluid, matches and a lighter at a nearby gas station and setting the house in Woodbury, New Jersey, ablaze. The house was entirely destroyed, while the victim – whose has not been named – only managed to escape by physically removing a window frame and climbing through the opening. His path to the property’s only doorway was already blocked by the raging flames when he awoke at 4.30am, police said. He suffered smoke inhalation and first- and second-degree burns. Firefighters had to rescue his dog from inside the still-burning building. Read More
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