Boners

Boner of the Day for August 20, 2019

Round One

BONER CANDIDATE #1: WELL, WHAT YOU ALL DO

A verbal altercation between a customer and employee at a northwest Oklahoma City Taco Bell landed the employee in the hospital with a gunshot wound. Authorities said they were called to the Taco Bell around 1 a.m. Saturday. An employee asked a customer to pull forward in the drive-thru. The customer argued but eventually pulled forward. Upon doing so, he pulled out a gun and shot the employee. Authorities said they were called to the Taco Bell around 1 a.m. Saturday. An employee asked a customer to pull forward in the drive-thru. The customer argued but eventually pulled forward. Upon doing so, he pulled out a gun and shot the employee. The employee was taken to the hospital and was treated and released.     Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I SURE PICKED THE WRONG TIME TO PRETEND TO BE A COP

A man accused of posing as a police officer got a heavy dose of karma Friday after he pulled over a van in Hicksville, N.Y. that just happened to be full of police detectives, according to the Nassau County Police Department. According to police, 25-year-old Valiery Portlock was driving in a black Nissan Sentra on Hicksville Road near Roosevelt Avenue in Hicksville around 11 a.m. Friday. That’s when police say he turned on emergency lights and started blowing an air horn, telling the van to pull over. That van was full of detectives from the Nassau County Police Department’s electronics squad. As soon as the detectives told Portlock who they were… police say he tried to flee by speeding away into oncoming traffic.    Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: THE DIRTY DIAPER BOMBER

According to a Monday morning tweet from Sgt. Stephen Wheeles, he was traveling on I-65 in Johnson County when he noticed someone littering from the backseat by chucking a dirty diaper out of the window of the vehicle. But the discarded diaper wasn’t heading for the pavement. It instead made impact Wheeles’ squad car, prompting a traffic stop and a littering citation.
“I was heading home after working the Indiana State Fair, tired, and wasn’t really expecting it,” Wheeles said. “It hit my car and bounced a couple of times … it’s not something I could really let fly.” Wheeles said his car was not damaged or in need of a car wash after the incident. The litterer was a backseat passenger in the car.    Read More

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Round Two

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THEY HAVE A LOT OF SAND

Police in the northern city of Porto Torres found the sand while making routine checks on cars waiting to board a ferry to Toulon in southern France. Sardinia fines sand thieves up to $3,480
They spotted some bottles filled with sand through the window of the car, and arrested the couple, a man and woman in their 40s, police told CNN. Overall, 14 plastic bottles containing around 40 kilograms (88 pounds) of white sand were seized, police said. The couple were reported to a court in the city of Sassari for aggravated theft and they risk a fine of up to €3,000 ($3,300) and between one and six years’ imprisonment.     Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: WE WERE JUST PRETENDING TO KILL HIM

A Democratic state senator has apologized after pictures were posted online of a group of supporters at his fundraiser performing a mock assassination of President Trump. In a separate image, Sen. Martin Sandoval, 55, who represents Illinois’ 11th District, was pictured standing next to one man who had constructed the simulated attack. Images posted on social media saw one man pointing a machine gun at another person dressed in a Mexican costume wearing a Donald Trump mask. The man wearing the Trump mask appears to grab his chest and lean back as if he is imitating being shot by the man holding the gun. The performance was reportedly acted out in front of guests at Sandoval’s fundraising event, according to WCIA.    Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: HE PROMISED THE ALL NIGHT SEX BUT DID NOT DELIVER

A woman has been accused of setting fire to a man’s home after he invited her to his house for late-night sex then promptly fell asleep and did not hear her at his door. Taija Russell, 29, is alleged to have sent a series of furious doorstep texts to the slumbering amour before buying lighter fluid, matches and a lighter at a nearby gas station and setting the house in Woodbury, New Jersey, ablaze. The house was entirely destroyed, while the victim – whose has not been named – only managed to escape by physically removing a window frame and climbing through the opening. His path to the property’s only doorway was already blocked by the raging flames when he awoke at 4.30am, police said. He suffered smoke inhalation and first- and second-degree burns. Firefighters had to rescue his dog from inside the still-burning building.    Read More

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