Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for February 6th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: HER HIPS PUT ME IN DANGER OF HELL FIRE.

Shakira and her hips will have to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth if right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire gets his way. The former central Ohio high school football coach said on his “Pass the Salt Ministries” webcast that he wants to sue the NFL over its racy Super Bowl show Sunday, which featured performances by “Booty” singer Jennifer Lopez and “Hips Don’t Lie” crooner Shakira. The controversial evangelist figures a settlement of $867 trillion would be fair compensation for the “crotch shots” conservative viewers were forced to endure. “I think we ought to sue,” he said after Sunday’s showdown between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs. “Were there any warnings before that Super Bowl halftime show?” According to Daubenmire, the mid-game performance, which featured scantily clad dancers including Lopez, who did a pole dance, could have caused young boys to get horny. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: ANOTHER TRUMP USES THE “P” WORD

Donald Trump Jr. posted a picture on Instagram calling Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT) a “pussy” after the former GOP presidential candidate announced that he would be voting to convict President Trump on one of two impeachment charges. The picture featured Romney wearing high-waisted jeans, and was captioned: “Mom Jeans, Because you’re a pussy.” Trump Jr., who recently released a book titled Triggered, wrote: “Mitt Romney is forever bitter that he will never be POTUS. He was too weak to beat the Democrats then so he’s joining them now,” Trump Jr. ended his post by calling for Romney to be expelled from the GOP for being part of “the resistance.” On the Senate floor Wednesday, Romney announced that he would be the first Republican to vote to convict Trump of abuse of power. He said the president was “guilty of an appalling abuse of public trust.” Read More


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