Boners

Boner Fight for January 14th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: SURE IT WAS A S**T SANDWICH, BUT IT WAS A REALLY GREAT S**T SANDWICH.

Luckhurst, a bike patrol officer, initially stated that the incident occurred when he was on-duty on May 6, 2016. Luckhurst admitted to placing discarded pieces of dog feces between two bread slices in a food container. The officer then left the disguised faux meal next to a homeless man. Lockhurst said he found the bread and feces along his patrolling route with another officer. In an attempt to clear the “no trespassing” area, the patrolman said he placed it nearby a non-complying transient man. Luckurst said the unsuspecting man picked up the food container, smelled it and threw it on the ground. Following his fellow patrol officer’s disapproval, the San Antonio officer then picked up the feces sandwich and disposed of it. Despite being indefinitely suspended on Oct. 28, 2016 for the foul incident, which would have been well within the 180 days, the officer sought through his medical records and determined that his initial date was incorrect. He cited an injury that kept him from being able to bike for the month of May. Instead, Luckhurst says his records point to April 6 or June 14 for the incident, which would ultimately make his termination unlawful.
An arbitrator reviewed the documents from Luckhurst as well as the investigation and overturned Luckhurst’s suspension. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: SON, WE ONLY USE THAT STUFF ON BULLS.

A man has been hospitalised with a ‘three-day’ erection after taking a sexual stimulant ‘used for breeding bulls’ in Mexico. The individual, who has not been named, received urgent surgery at Specialist Hospital 270 in the US-Mexico border city of Reynosa after checking in with the persistent condition. He took the drugs as he was planning to have sex with a 30-year-old woman, reports Peruvian newspaper La Republica. The individual, who has not been named, received urgent surgery at Specialist Hospital 270 in the US-Mexico border city of Reynosa after checking in with the condition. ‘He was hospitalised in the Specialised Hospital 270 of the city of Reynosa’, Doctors told the newspaper. ‘He had taken a sexual stimulant which he had bought in Veracruz, used by farmers in that region to invigorate bulls for insemination.’ The man is reported to have travelled to Veracruz, in east Mexico, to purchase the stimulant used for cattle.
There have been no updates on his condition following the surgery. Read More

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