Boners

Boner of the Day for January 14th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: SURE IT WAS A S**T SANDWICH, BUT IT WAS A REALLY GREAT S**T SANDWICH.

Luckhurst, a bike patrol officer, initially stated that the incident occurred when he was on-duty on May 6, 2016. Luckhurst admitted to placing discarded pieces of dog feces between two bread slices in a food container. The officer then left the disguised faux meal next to a homeless man. Lockhurst said he found the bread and feces along his patrolling route with another officer. In an attempt to clear the “no trespassing” area, the patrolman said he placed it nearby a non-complying transient man. Luckurst said the unsuspecting man picked up the food container, smelled it and threw it on the ground. Following his fellow patrol officer’s disapproval, the San Antonio officer then picked up the feces sandwich and disposed of it. Despite being indefinitely suspended on Oct. 28, 2016 for the foul incident, which would have been well within the 180 days, the officer sought through his medical records and determined that his initial date was incorrect. He cited an injury that kept him from being able to bike for the month of May. Instead, Luckhurst says his records point to April 6 or June 14 for the incident, which would ultimately make his termination unlawful.
An arbitrator reviewed the documents from Luckhurst as well as the investigation and overturned Luckhurst’s suspension. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: ONE MILLION MOMS….DAMN!

(CNN)Activist conservative group One Million Moms is taking aim at Burger King for using what it calls the “d-word” in a commercial promoting the non-meat Impossible Whopper. In the ad, a group of people taste-test the plant-based patty that has been a hit for the fast-food company. With a mouthful of food, one man says, “Damn, that’s good.” That ad was posted online in August when Burger King began sales at stores nationwide. But on Friday, One Million Moms posted a press release criticizing the use of the “d-word” in the commercial. “One Million Moms finds this highly inappropriate. When responding to the taste test, he didn’t have to curse. Or if, in fact, it was a real and unscripted interview in which the man was not an actor, then Burger King could have simply chosen to edit the profanity out of the commercial,” the group said in a press release. “Burger King’s Impossible Whopper ad is irresponsible and tasteless. It is extremely destructive and damaging to impressionable children viewing the commercial. We all know children repeat what they hear.” One Million Moms is a division of the American Family Association, the non-profit evangelical Christian group. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: VAPE BABY.

INDIANA COUNTY, Pennsylvania (WJW) – Pennsylvania State Police are investigating a video that shows a two-year-old who was given a vaping device. “The involved persons and child have been identified and charges are pending,” the tweet said. Investigators were expected to release more information on Monday. The video, which was obtained by KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh, shows the two-year-old using the vaping device before coughing and crying. The teens that are believed to have given the child the device can be heard laughing. In a statement given to KDKA, the United School District of Armagh, Pennsylvania confirmed that they believe two of their students were involved: “United administration was made aware of the video today, and the matter is being investigated by the authorities. We believe that two of our students were involved in the situation. The names of those students were provided to the authorities.” Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: NICE PARTY CHIEF

The University of Utah police department spent $6,000 to throw a retirement party for outgoing Chief Dale Brophy — a celebration that came as he was stepping down and his force was under fire for ignoring concerns reported by student-athlete Lauren McCluskey before she was killed on campus. The invoice for the party was obtained by The Salt Lake Tribune through a public records request as part of a review of university spending following McCluskey’s October 2018 slaying. The school has allocated more than $1 million to projects to improve safety in response. But it stands out that the U. honored the chief with thousands in taxpayer funds — edging close to the price of a semester of tuition — while there have been ongoing questions about misconduct and mistreatment in the department. “The university has recently appointed a new chief safety officer and a new police chief,” responded university spokesman Chris Nelson. “We are clearly moving forward and learning lessons from the past. But this event was a police department recognizing a person retiring from law enforcement after 25 years.” The celebration for Brophy, held on Oct. 11 at Rice-Eccles Stadium, involved a taco party where more than $4,000 was spent on food — including “de-constructed posole salad with chili lime vinaigrette” and “crab avocado shooters with diced jicama,” according to emails to the caterer. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HE HIT HER WITH A BAG OF D’S.

Another bizarre police incident at Antonio Brown’s Florida home — this time, cops responded after a dispute with his baby mama … and it turned VERY nasty. We’ve reached out to cops to find out exactly why they were called to the home — and who made the call. But, here’s what we know so far … Several Hollywood Police Dept. officers arrived at Brown’s home around 10 AM local time on Monday … and Brown’s baby mama, Chelsie Kyriss, was there too. They have 3 children together. Brown repeatedly told the officers he had previously evicted her from his home — but allowed her on the property so she could pick up her kids and take them to school. But, Brown claims during the handoff, Chelsie tried to steal one of his cars — and he wasn’t having it. At one point, AB screams at Kyriss … “Bitch, you don’t drive Bentleys. This is not your life.” Brown was shouting to the cops that he wanted her off his property, ASAP — and screamed insults at her from across the street … in front of her kids. The whole situation was super heated, with a very frustrated Brown cussing at the officers — telling them they don’t know how to do their jobs. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SON, WE ONLY USE THAT STUFF ON BULLS.

A man has been hospitalised with a ‘three-day’ erection after taking a sexual stimulant ‘used for breeding bulls’ in Mexico. The individual, who has not been named, received urgent surgery at Specialist Hospital 270 in the US-Mexico border city of Reynosa after checking in with the persistent condition. He took the drugs as he was planning to have sex with a 30-year-old woman, reports Peruvian newspaper La Republica. The individual, who has not been named, received urgent surgery at Specialist Hospital 270 in the US-Mexico border city of Reynosa after checking in with the condition. ‘He was hospitalised in the Specialised Hospital 270 of the city of Reynosa’, Doctors told the newspaper. ‘He had taken a sexual stimulant which he had bought in Veracruz, used by farmers in that region to invigorate bulls for insemination.’ The man is reported to have travelled to Veracruz, in east Mexico, to purchase the stimulant used for cattle.
There have been no updates on his condition following the surgery. Read More


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