Boners

Boner Fight for March 8th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: WHY CANT THEY JUST LEAVE GIRLS SCOUTS ALONE

A group of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a Seattle, Washington, grocery store Sunday was robbed of the hundreds of dollars they had collected, police say. Officials with the Seattle Police Department said in an announcement Tuesday that the scouts were selling cookies outside a grocery store in the 11100 block of Roosevelt Way Northeast, when, shortly before 8 p.m. that night, a man ran up, grabbed their money bin and ran away. The bin reportedly contained more than $600. Jennifer Johanson, an adult who was helping oversee the girls’ cookie stand, said she noticed the man acting strangely before the incident occurred. “He came up a number of times asking about all the cookies and he bought some, and he returned them,” she told King 5. “He came back, and there was just something not right.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I GUESS HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW IMPOUND WORKS

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. – An Orange County man is under arrest after allegedly throwing Molotov cocktails at his own vehicle inside of an impound lot, according to an arrest report. “He came back and started throwing gas cocktail bombs over the fence on his own car,” said car lot owner Darnell Adams. An arrest report says the suspect, Ayub Abdulrahman, came to get his car back after it was impounded and set it on fire instead. The state fire marshal is now investigating what happened at the impound lot near South Orange Avenue and Fourth street. Adams said he was going to hand over the keys because Abdulrahman had already paid almost $300 to get this car out of the impound lot, but instead of it going home the burned-out car was stuck behind crime scene tape.

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