Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for May 23rd, 2019

Candidate #1: ANOTHER GOOD REASON NOT TO HIDE DRUGS IN YOUR BUTT

A bungling felon from Washington state made a series of blunders when he shot himself in the testicles and tried to hide the weapon — all while storing drugs in his anus, a report said Wednesday. Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh, according to the Wenatchee World News. Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said. When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show. Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson’s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself. The officers issued an arrest warrant for Wilson and he turned himself in to police on April 18.

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Candidate #2: MAYBE WE DIDN’T TEACH HIM RIGHT? MAYBE, YOU SAY?

A New Jersey man who was filmed grinning as he urinated on a memorial to a dead child has been fired by his boss—who happens to be his father. Bryan Bellace, 23, was wearing a shirt with the Bruce Bellace Plumbing and Heating logo as he peed on the memorial to 9-year-old Christian Clopp in a Mays Landing playground after placing a beer can on the ground. “I had to remove him from employment,” Bruce Bellace tells the Press of Atlantic City. “We apologized to the family … I’m sorry for his actions. I’m not proud of him.” He says he has received at least a dozen phone calls from people outraged by his son’s behavior. “Ultimately it’s my fault,” he says. “Maybe we didn’t teach him right.” Bellace, 23, was arrested Sunday for offenses including lewdness and disorderly conduct. He apologized Monday, telling ABC he made a “huge mistake” and was so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing.

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