Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for May 24th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: MY HEDGEHOG!

A dispute over custody of a hedgehog turned violent Sunday evening when a Florida woman allegedly struck her mother several times in an attempt to take the spiny mammal from the family’s home. Police say that Emma Davisson, 18, had been arguing with her mother about “living arrangements…and following directions” when the teenager announced that she was “packing her things and going to leave” the Seminole residence. Davisson, seen at right, also told her mother that she would be departing in the company of the family’s pet hedgehog, which resided in the bedroom of Davisson’s younger siblings. But Davisson’s mother, 43, balked at the hedgehog removal, saying that “the younger siblings in the house are the one who are caring for it,” according to an arrest affidavit. In an attempt to keep the hedgehog in residence, Davisson’s mother told cops, “she was blocking the defendant from going into her siblings room.” That is when Davisson allegedly “pushed and hit her mother several times to get into the room.” The altercation, cops noted, was witnessed “by all of the siblings.” Davisson, cops say, acknowledged pushing her mother, but claimed that it was only after she had been “pushed/shoved” by her parent. The teen denied striking her mother in the face. Arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery count, Davisson was booked into the county jail, from which she was released early yesterday on her own recognizance.

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Boner Candidate #2: THESE PEOPLE ARE JUST THE WORST.

The first $20 bills featuring Harriet Tubman were supposed to be unveiled in 2020, but on Wednesday, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin said the bill won’t be released next year after all — and most likely won’t be in circulation until 2026 at the earliest. “It’s not a decision that is likely to come until way past my term, even if I serve the second term for the president. So I’m not focused on that for the moment,” Mnuchin reportedly said at a hearing before the House Committee on Financial Services. Instead, Mnuchin claimed, he’ll focus on beefing up anti-counterfeiting measures. “It is my responsibility now to focus on what is the issue of counterfeiting and the security features,” he said. “The ultimate decision on the redesign will most likely be another secretary down the road.” In 2016, then-Treasury Secretary Jack Lew announced that Tubman, an abolitionist who helped free enslaved people before the Civil War, would be on the $20 bill. She was slated to be the first woman on US paper currency since the 19th century, the New York Times reported at the time. The redesign was supposed to be unveiled in 2020 in honor of the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote, though the bills wouldn’t have entered circulation until later. (It’s worth noting that given the spate of anti-black voter suppression laws that were implemented across the country after the Civil War, it’s likely that Tubman would not have been able to vote in 1920.) The $20 bill redesign was part of a larger project to reimagine US currency by adding women and civil rights leaders to paper bills. But now, according to the Times, senior Treasury officials think Mnuchin is pushing back the redesign to help President Trump, who has criticized the plan in the past, save face. Mnuchin decided to delay the redesign until Trump was out of office, sources told the paper.

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Boner Candidate #3: PACK IT UP GRANNY; YOU’RE OUT.

A 102-year-old woman is being forced out of her home in Ladera Heights, California, according to KCBS. Family and friends of Thelma Smith are banding together after she received an eviction notice and is being forced to relocate. Smith’s landlord intends to move his daughter into the residence once she graduates from law school. Smith has lost most of her family over the years, including her husband, and her remaining family lives on the East Coast. Her family and friends said her options are limited to moving in with someone nearby or moving into assisted living which is difficult to do on her fixed income. “Right now it’s the unknown that’s bothering her as far relocating her to her new places,” said family friend Antonio Avelino. “She couldn’t afford it she would need some assistance from county and other friends to support her in these places.” KCBS’ Amy Johnson spoke to the landlord. “We know legally you can make her leave but 102? Would you kick out a 102-year-old woman?” asked Johnson. The landlord replied by saying, “Would you take care of your child?” “The only thing that I can say is that I’ve tried to live a good life. I’ve never wanted to harm anybody,” said Smith. Smith must vacate the house by June 30.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: CAMERA? WHAT CAMERA?

A 24-year-old employee of the Department of Veterans Affairs has been arrested, accused of recording at least four people using a women’s restroom in the department’s headquarters near the White House. The suspect, identified as Alex Greenlee of Maryland, allegedly committed the crimes in January, according to court documents. Authorities investigated after one woman reported finding a “mini camera” under the stall next to the one she was using, Washington’s WJLA-TV reported. The woman then told authorities she saw Greenlee outside the women’s restroom and he claimed he needed to go inside to get paper towels, the station reported. Another woman reported finding a camera attached to a toilet three days later, the report said.

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Boner Candidate #2: PARENTING CLASSES?…HOW ABOUT FORCED STERILIZATION?

A California woman accused of trying to drown her newborn in a McDonald’s restroom avoided jail time last week after striking a plea deal with prosecutors and pleading no contest to felony child endangerment. Sarah Jane Lockner, 27, received four years of supervised probation and was ordered to take parenting classes. SFGate reported, citing court documents. Lockner reportedly agreed to the plea deal in January. She was originally charged with attempted murder. Lockner was in the middle of a shift at a McDonald’s in Redwood City in the Bay Area in September 2017 when she was complaining of stomach pains, according to the San Mateo County District Attorney’s Office. When her fellow employees noticed she was trailing blood, Lockner told them she had a “heavy period.” A co-worker went to check on Lockner in the restroom and allegedly discovered Lockner with the newborn’s head face-down in a toilet bowl, according to prosecutors. Lockner reportedly told the co-worker not to call police, but the co-worker did anyway, according to the Mercury News of San Jose. Responding officers found the baby not breathing and without a pulse, the newspaper reported. The baby was rushed to a hospital and survived. The child is reportedly staying with the father’s aunt.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S A MIRACLE CURE

A New Jersey pastor has been doling out a “miracle cure” for various diseases to thousands of people in Uganda — but the holy elixir is just industrial bleach, according to a report. Robert Baldwin, the founder of the Global Healing ministry, pushed the “healing water” in Uganda, claiming it could cure everything from cancer and HIV/AIDS to diabetes and malaria, according to The Guardian report. The concoction, called Miracle Mineral Solution, or MMS, is in fact, chlorine dioxide — an industrial bleach that can cause vomiting and dehydration, when heavily consumed, The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has warned.YouTube recently cracked down on videos promoting it. Baldwin, 52, has reportedly been importing bulk shipments of the components of MMS into Uganda from China. Up to 50,000 people in Uganda — including infants as young as 14-months-old — have been fed the toxic fluid, according to The Guardian. In a phone call obtained by The Guardian, Baldwin said he pawns the liquid as “healing water” and not MMS to “protect myself” and that he does so in Uganda because it is a poor country with fewer regulations.

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