Boners

Boner Fight for May 3rd, 2019

Candidate #1: WAIT A MINUTE…THAT’S NOT A SNICKERS BAR

A Florida man has been sentenced to a year in prison for his part in a reptile smuggling ring that stretched from South Carolina to Hong Kong. The State reports Matthew Harrison Kail was sentenced Tuesday for the scheme that involved hiding rare turtles in candy wrappers or socks and shipping them overseas. Prosecutors said Kail was a key part of the operation, which was led in South Carolina by Steven Verren Baker. Baker, of Georgia, was ordered in March to serve just over a year in prison. Authorities have said Baker’s one of South Carolina’s most well-known wildlife traders. The newspaper says these are believed to be the state’s first prison sentences for illegal wildlife trading. Several other people in the scheme have been sentenced to probation and fines.

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Candidate #2: WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? JUST TAKE TURNS

Renting can be an absolute nightmare. There are huge deposits to cobble together at a moment’s notice. There are grim, damp flats, nightmare landlords and blood-sucking letting agents. Then there’s this advert, which is in a whole league of its own. We all know the competition to secure rented accommodation can be fierce – no matter what condition the flat or house is in – but one property seems to have taken it to the next level. In an ad, an Australian landlord advertises his flat, which costs costs £66. We’re guessing that’s per week, but who knows – especially when you consider what one of the stipulations is. As well as the house rules being cosily scrawled all over the walls, the landlord states that the flat is for two people. Confoundingly, there’s just one single bed though.

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