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Boner Fight for November 9th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: WE’LL ANNOUNCE OUR PLANS AT THE FOUR SEASONS.

Donald Trump’s increasingly desperate bid to hang on to the White House crossed into abject farce on Saturday, after his campaign staged a purportedly major press conference at a Philadelphia landscaping business situated between a crematorium and sex shop. On Saturday morning, as Trump played golf and continued to baselessly accuse the Democrats of stealing the election for Joe Biden, the president announced, in a tweet that was subsequently deleted, a “big press conference” at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. Trump quickly altered his statement, revealing that the press conference venue was not a Four Seasons hotel, but Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a suburban business between a crematorium and an adult book store on the outer edges of the city. “Big press conference today in Philadelphia at Four Seasons Total Landscaping – 11.30am!” the president tweeted at 9.45am.

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Boner Candidate #2: AH, HA HA HA HA HA…….ETC.

Evangelical leader and huge Donald Trump supporter Kenneth Copeland had a hearty laugh over Joe Biden’s victory in the presidential election. But the word laugh doesn’t quite capture what he does during a prayer service. “The media said what?” Copeland said before bursting out laughing in the video posted by Right Wing Watch. “The media said Joe Biden’s president!” And that’s where he starts laughing maniacally with such forced HAHAs that at first it almost seems funny until he goes on for such an uncomfortable amount of time and those watching him begin laughing for real. Although the clip might be amusing, and that’s likely at least part of the reason why it spread like wildfire on social media, some were quick to caution that the obviously fake laugh is a strategy to get a reaction from those listening. “This is professional brainwashing for your viewing pleasure. It works,” writer Laird Barron tweeted. If the name Copeland sounds familiar it’s likely because he was also the star of a 2019 video that went viral when a reporter confronted him about his lavish lifestyle. Copeland had said that he can’t “talk to God” while flying commercial and that’s why he needed a private plane. “You can’t manage that today, in this dope-filled world, get in a long tube with a bunch of demons,” Copeland said. “And it’s deadly.”

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