Boners

Boner Fight January 9th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1:  DOORBELL LICKER

Police are trying to track down a man who spent three hours licking a doorbell at a California home. “I thought I’d seen it all, but this takes the cake,” neighbor Francisco Javier Estrada told KION. Surveillance cameras caught Roberto Daniel Arroyo in the act. The Dungans said they were not home at the time, but their children were inside the house sleeping. Police said a newly installed surveillance system helped them investigate the case. “We were pleasantly surprised the image was so clear it didn’t take us long to identify the individual,” Salina Police Department spokesperson Miguel Cabrera said.

Boner Candidate #2: I DON’T THINK MR. ABRAHAM IS INTERESTED IN MOLDING OUR MINDS.

This substitute teacher in Ohio allegedly molded minds while touching himself. Substitute teacher Tracey Abraham, 41, was arrested Tuesday morning at Creekside Middle School after he was allegedly caught masturbating in a classroom while students were present, the Cincinnati Enquirer reported. The class reportedly noticed “suspicious behavior by the substitute that was taking place behind” his desk around 10:30 a.m. The alleged behavior was reported to administrators and the teacher was immediately removed from school property. Charges were filed against Abraham for public indecency. He was arraigned Tuesday in Fairfield Municipal Court.
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