Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for April 6th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: WELL, THEY’RE CELEBRITIES. THE RULES ARE DIFFERENT

The couple were spotted leaving their local gym in Miami on Wednesday despite the fact that Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis announced a statewide stay-at-home order as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. It appears the gym made an exception for Lopez, 50, and Rodriguez, 44, as there is a sign on the door that says the facility is closed. “This gym is not open,” the sign reads. “Stay home stay safe.” The “Hustlers” star’s security made sure to wear a protective mask and opened the car door with what looks to be a sanitizing wipe. The government order came after the Sunshine State’s COVID-19 cases neared 7,000. There is also speculation that the state’s outbreak may have begun during the Super Bowl in Miami, where Lopez performed with Shakira. Despite the retired slugger and pop star’s outing, they’ve mostly stayed home. A-Rod recently shared video from his first-ever “ARod baseball clinic” in which he and Lopez’s kids played ball. “You can let this time pass you by, or you can seize it and use it to work on your swing, watch a ton of video, and make yourself a better player. Or a better anything, for that matter,” Rodriguez captioned the video.

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Boner Candidate #2: DR. DREW KNOWS WHAT FOX WANTS TO HEAR

Dr. Drew Pinsky is using copyright claims to remove a video compilation of his past comments in which he downplays the seriousness of the coronavirus pandemic, acccording to HuffPost contributor Yashar Ali. On social media, Pinsky’s critics have shared a video containing multiple clips of the media personality saying that fears of COVID-19 were overblown. The clips were taken from Pinsky’s podcast and media appearances in February and early March, including an appearance on KTLA News in Los Angeles on March 2, when he called it a “press-induced panic.” The video went viral after it was shared by Ali, who noted that the original video on YouTube has been taken down after Pinsky’s company issued a copyright claim. Representatives for Pinsky and YouTube did not immediately respond to TheWrap’s requests for comment. On Saturday, Pinsky released a video on social media apologizing for his previous comments, which included a claim that one’s chances of dying of the coronavirus are worse than being “hit by an asteroid.” He said that he made a mistake in comparing COVID-19 to the flu without looking at the severity of the disease. “My early comments about equating coronavirus with influenza were wrong. They were incorrect. I was part of a chorus that was saying that. And we were wrong. And I want to apologize for that,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #3: SOMEBODY EVEN BROUGHT LAWN CHAIRS

A group of defiant Pink Floyd fans held an impromptu outdoor concert in New Jersey Saturday and shouted profanities at police when they arrived to enforce the state’s restrictions against such gatherings because of the coronavirus. The Rumson Police said on their Facebook page that they are following up with an investigation of the outdoor ‘greatest hits’ performance, which officers found taking place at Blackpoint Road and Wood Lane Saturday night. Two guitarists on a lawn started up the show, which assembled about 30 aging fans of the classic British rock band in the middle of the street. The Rumson Police said on their Facebook page that they are following up with an investigation of the outdoor ‘greatest hits’ performance, which officers found taking place at Blackpoint Road and Wood Lane Saturday night. ‘Some even brought lawn chairs,’ the department said. When police were called to enforce Governor Phil Murphy’s prohibition against holding ‘corona parties,’ the party-goers came back at the cops with obscenities. ‘F-the police’ and ‘Welcome to Nazi Germany” the group of ”40-50 year old ADULTS,” members of the group said, police reported.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: EMERGENCY GOLF CARTS

The Secret Service signed an “emergency order” this week to rent $45,000-worth of golf carts in the town of Sterling, Virginia, where President Trump has a golf course, The Washington Post reports. The 30-cart fleet, which the Secret Service is renting through the end of September, was described as being necessary in order to protect a “dignitary,” although the president was not explicitly referenced by name. Surprisingly, while many nonessential businesses around the country have closed to prevent the spread of disease, Virginia’s Trump National Golf Club remains open. Gov. Ralph Northam (D) allowed for golf courses to continue to operate so long as golfers keep a six-foot distance from others. The Virginia club is a favorite of the president’s; he has visited it 76 times since taking office, most recently in October. The Post notes that Trump has not played golf since March 8, when there were still only about 500 confirmed COVID-19 cases in the U.S. and 21 deaths, most of which were concentrated at a nursing home in Washington State. In a statement, Secret Service spokesperson Cathy Milhoan clarified that the “emergency” contract referred specifically to “a need for expedited handling of the procurement due to deadlines within the agency’s business processes.” Read more at The Washington Post.

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Boner Candidate #2: FIRED FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING

WASHINGTON — For days, he fended off fears that the contagion would spread unchecked through his crew. Then last week, the captain of the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt, who had appealed to his superiors for help, was fired. By Sunday, friends said, he had come down with the coronavirus himself. The military has long adhered to a rigid chain of command and tolerated no dissent expressed outside official channels. Capt. Brett E. Crozier, the skipper of the aircraft carrier, knew he was up against those imperatives when he asked for help for nearly 5,000 crew members trapped in a petri dish of a warship in the middle of a pandemic. But colleagues say the mistake that could cost Captain Crozier his career was charging headlong into the Trump administration’s narrative that it had everything under control. Pentagon officials said that although President Trump never ordered Captain Crozier dismissed, he was displeased with the captain’s actions and let the Navy know — a sentiment Mr. Trump made very public on Saturday when he lashed out at the captain. Even so, the Navy’s top brass clashed about what to do.

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Boner Candidate #3: WE SHOULD TEST THAT ON THE AFRICANS.

Two highly respected French doctors discussed on live television how a new COVID-19 vaccine under development should be first tested in Africa, “where there are no masks, no treatment, nor intensive care.” One of them, Jean-Paul Mira, even compared Africans to prostitutes who were the focus of past AIDS studies. “We tried things on prostitutes because they are highly exposed and do not protect themselves,” he said. Several African soccer stars who played in Europe, including the former Chelsea star Didier Drogba and the former Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o, tweeted their outrage at the two medics’ remarks. A discussion between two top French doctors on live TV left viewers horrified when they proposed that Africa should become a giant laboratory for coronavirus vaccine testing because the continent lacked the resources to defend against COVID-19.

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