Boners

Boner of the Day for April 7th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: WE FOUND OUT FROM THE NEWS

The sister of a nursing home resident who contracted COVID-19 during an outbreak in the facility that killed one person is sharing her concerns over how the facility allegedly handled the outbreak. The woman indicated that Pine Creek Rehab and Nursing in Salt Lake City didn’t let her family members know their loved one had the virus. Farida Fox explained that it wasn’t until she saw it on the news Tuesday, that she realized her sister may be in danger. She saw a report of cases of COVID-19 at Pine Creek Rehab and Nursing. Fox said she called and talked to a nurse, who assured her that the news reports weren’t correct. “She said, ‘Well, the person that went to the hospital– one of the patients– contracted the virus at the hospital,” Fox recounted. She also said the nurse told her an employee who tested positive for COVID-19 wasn’t at the facility anymore.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: SORRY FOR THE SEX WORKER PARTY

Manchester City soccer star Kyle Walker is apologizing for hosting a sex worker party just days after he pled for people to stay indoors and obey self-isolation guidelines. Walker reportedly paid two escorts to join him and a friend at his London home last week … this despite government officials urging residents to self-quarantine to stop the spread of COVID-19. One of the alleged escorts told The Sun that Walker had paid her and another woman for a three-hour sex sesh … and once the soccer star’s club found out about it all — they were furious. “Footballers are global role models,” the team said in a statement, “and our staff and players have been working to support the incredible efforts of the NHS and other key workers in fighting the effects of the COVID-19 Coronavirus, in any way we can. Kyle’s actions in this matter have directly contravened these efforts.”   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: I NEEDED THAT STUFF

A housekeeping employee at a Prescott hospital has been fired after being arrested on suspicion of stealing personal protective equipment and cleaning supplies in recent weeks as the coronavirus outbreak unfolded, police said Saturday. Keith Brown, 49, of Prescott was arrested Friday at Yavapai Regional Medical Center on suspicion of one count each of theft and fraud after police found numerous items valued at $1,700 in Brown’s vehicle and residence, police Lt. Jon Brambila said. The items recovered included gloves, hand sanitizer, surgical scrubs, wash clothes, paper towels, masks, bleach cleaner, toilet paper and an automatic hand sanitizer, Brambila said. Online court records didn’t list an attorney for Brown who could comment on the allegations.   Read More

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ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: WELL, YOU’VE USED UP ONE OF YOUR ALLOTTED CANS

After being told of a limit on the number of Lysol cans she could purchase, a Walmart customer sprayed a worker in the eyes with the disinfectant, according to Massachusetts police who are seeking the public’s help in identifying the alleged assailant. The March 27 attack occurred at a Walmart Supercenter in Leicester, a town outside Worcester. In a bid to collar the woman, police released the adjacent surveillance photo of the suspect, who appears to have departed Walmart in an Uber after she was somehow able to complete her purchase.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: THAT’LL GET YOUR ATTENTION

A man who held a hostage at the FBI’s Salt Lake headquarters eight years ago allegedly crashed his car into the building’s security gate Sunday because he wanted to talk to an agent. Robert Joseph Hibbard, 49, of Midvale, faces one count of destruction of government property, according to a complaint filed Monday in U.S. District Court. Hibbard told investigators that he had asked a security guard at the visitor entrance to speak with an agent but was told one wasn’t available, the complaint says. The guard gave him a telephone number for the office and Hibbard left.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TIP

Hurricane Police arrested a 67-year-old handyman Friday morning after he deposited a check accidentally written for $21,000 into his account. According to a police statement written by Hurricane Police Officer Darren Richmond, the case began as an investigation involving a theft of $21,000. After hiring a handyman service to complete a concrete job in her yard, the victim stated that the man, identified by her as Berklee Holm of Parowan, bid a price of $4,200 to complete the job, and that he said he would need $2,100 at the time to purchase materials, according to the statement.   Read More

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