ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE#1: SON, YOUR HIDING ABLILITY NEEDS SOME WORK.
A Florida man suspected of stealing a car was found by a K-9 who smelled the man hiding under a mattress.
BONER CANDIDATE#2: OH COME ON YOU BABIES; WE CAN’T LIVE FOREVER.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene tries to reason that hospitals are full with people experiencing illnesses other than COVID.
BONER CANDIDATE#3: THERE’S GONNA BE BIRD GUTS ALL OVER THE PLACE.
Rep. Louie Gohmert believes that solar farms will have a negative impact on bird populations because the magnified sun will cause them to explode.
ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE#1: DO YOU REALIZE HOW RARE THESE DIGIMON CARDS ARE.
Two men who stole rare Digimon cards from a store in Adelaide later returned to the same store to try to sell the cards.
BONER CANDIDATE#2: I HEARD YOUR OLD LADY WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE NEW; SOMEPLACE SHE NEVER HAD BEEN AND YOU SAID ‘TRY THE KITCHEN.’
A Michigan man’s younger brother shot him after the man made a joke about the cooking done by the brother’s ex wife.
BONER CANDIDATE#3: I SHOULD BUY A NEW ONE. I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN.
A woman in Singapore called animal rescue because she thought the sound of an electric toothbrush was a hissing cobra.
