Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for August 27, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #3: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET

KENNEWICK, Wash. (KEPR) – A Tri-Cities man experienced instant karma over the weekend when his pickup was stolen while he was robbing the business across the street, police say.
The incident unfolded around 6 a.m. Sunday when Kennewick police responded to the 500 block of East Bruneau Avenue for reports of a vehicle theft. The vehicle’s owner told officers someone had stolen his red 1992 Chevrolet pickup. The owner had left his keys behind on the seat, and a thief drove off with the truck.
But after surveillance video was reviewed, police discovered that the reason the pickup owner had left his truck was because he was off stealing items from a business across the street.
The pickup owner was then booked in the Benton County jail on a warrant and a new burglary charge. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: IT WAS OVER A BEACH TOWEL

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (Gray News) – A man is in critical condition after a 40-person brawl at a California water park that police say started over a beach towel. Police told KCRA the fight started Sunday afternoon at the Raging Waters park at Cal Expo with a disagreement between two women over who took whose beach towel. Christopher Neves, 35, jumped in to try to break up the fight, but was attacked by three other people who jumped in after him, the Sacramento television station reported. The fight grew to about 40 people with some trading blows and others exchanging insults. “There were two large families … about 15 people on each side engaged in mutual combat,” Cal Expo Police Chief Everest Robillard told KOVR. Officers found Neves without a pulse or heartbeat, but he was revived at the scene. He was taken to UC Davis Medical Center where, at last check, he was listed in critical condition in the intensive care unit. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: MAYBE THEY REALLY CANCELLED BECAUSE YOU ARE SO DISINGENUOUS

The United Nations Civil Society Conference hosted in Salt Lake City this week has canceled a workshop that panelists describe as “pro-family” and “pro-life” but that conference organizers felt was not “well rounded” and inclusive. Family Watch International Executive Director Merrilee Boyack, who was involved in organizing the panel on The Family and Protection of Life, Women and Girls in Sustainable Communities, received notice Saturday evening that the workshop would not be going forward. “They said it was not well rounded and that it was too controversial,” said Boyack, who also leads the group Abortion-Free Utah. “I’m like, which part was too controversial? That we want to protect women? That we want to protect girls? No, I’m sure it was that we wanted to protect babies. But this is really astounding and very unprofessional.” Boyack said her organization has been involved with the United Nations for two decades and has never had a workshop cancelled.  Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THE WATERMELON THIEF

A suspected watermelon-stealing man in North Carolina was caught in the act after his pickup got stuck in the mud, investigators said.
The Edgecombe County Sheriff’s Office said in a news release that Friday’s incident began when two deputies were assigned to investigate a crops-theft report on Highway 97 near Rocky Mount. Deputies said two deputies found Michael Bryant with a load of stolen watermelons on Friday near Rocky Mount when they went to check out a theft of crops report. “When they arrived on scene, they found the suspect with a truckload of stolen watermelons, stuck in a field,” the news release said. Michael Anthony Bryant was charged with misdemeanor larceny in the theft of watermelons. The deputies arrested Michael Anthony Bryant on a misdemeanor larceny charge. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: DO NOT GET YOUR BUTT LIFT FROM DR. SLIMTHICK

A Kentucky woman’s botched Brazilian butt lift surgery turned into a fight for her life after her intestines were punctured during the procedure, leaving her in the intensive care unit.
Dawn Bumphus, 35, flew from Louisville to Miami for the cosmetic procedure to get a bigger butt from board certified Dr. Harry Intsiful, also known as ‘Dr. Slimthick’ on Instagram, at the New Life Plastic Surgery clinic on July 23. But during the surgery, where fat is removed from the abdomen and back using liposuction, and then grafted to the buttocks by injection, her intestines were punctured in eight different places. Two days later, the single mother-of-three was rushed to the hospital where she was diagnosed with a life-threatening infection and had to undergo emergency surgeries. She’s remained in the hospital ever since and is now on dialysis, according to the Miami Herald. Man’s pickup stolen while he was robbing a store, Kennewick police say Kentucky woman Dawn Bumphus, 35, (left) flew to Miami for a Brazilian butt lift on July 23 by Dr. Harry Intsiful (right). But the procedure turned into a fight for her life after her intestines were punctured in eight different places during the surgery. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: AND SHE INSISTED SHE’S NOT A RACIST

A City Council candidate in Michigan who drew criticism and national attention last week for saying her community should be kept white “as much as possible” officially withdrew from the race on Monday. The candidate, Jean Cramer,who was running for a seat on the Marysville City Council, hand-delivered a one-sentence letter to City Hall in the afternoon. It read: “I am writing this letter to withdraw as a City Council candidate for the Marysville City Council election on Nov. 5, 2019.” At a candidates’ forum on Thursday, the moderator asked whether the community should be more aggressive in attracting foreign-born residents. Ms. Cramer replied that Marysville should be a “white community as much as possible” with “no foreign people,” drawing audible gasps from fellow candidates. On Friday, Ms. Cramer expanded on her views to The Times Herald, a local newspaper. She said that interracial marriages were a “big problem,” citing the Bible, and insisted she was not racist. She told reporters that she had no plans to drop out of the race. Read More

 


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