ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: MAN HE REALLY STUCK IT TO GOV. NEWSOME
Kirk Cameron stuck it to Gov. Gavin Newsom and his COVID guidelines by getting hundreds of people together in public to sing Christmas carols … something he does not regret. The “Growing Pains” star helped organize a massive outdoor gathering Sunday in the parking lot of the Oaks Mall in Thousand Oaks — where literally swarms of people were huddled up, not wearing masks and singing their hearts and lungs out … breathing up a storm.
Boner Candidate #2: SANTA HAS COVID
A Georgia couple who dressed up as Santa and Mrs. Claus for an outdoor photo session that was attended by about 50 children last week learned that they had tested positive for the coronavirus three days after the event, the county’s top elected official said on Tuesday. The event was on Thursday and was part of an annual Christmas parade and tree-lighting ceremony in Ludowici, Ga., about 235 miles southeast of Atlanta, said Robert D. Parker, the chairman of the Long County board of commissioners.
Boner Candidate #3: IT’S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY…KARMA IS A BITCH, MAN
LEHIGH ACRES, Fla. — You know what they say about karma? But perhaps the spiritual principle may have gone a bit too far this time. A man attempting to burglarize a home in Florida was killed when the window he was attempting to climb through slammed down on his neck, WINK reports. The Lee County Sheriff’s Office says Jonathan Hernandez was trying to gain access to the Lehigh Acres home when he was struck.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: AND THEY’RE TAX EXEMPT TOO
As federal lawmakers mull another COVID-19 stimulus package, some groups are calling for more oversight of religious institutions that receive taxpayer money to shoulder payroll and other costs during the pandemic. Some point to the multimillion dollar loans received by large religious institutions and churches, including Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church, as evidence that the federal government should require more financial disclosures from those receiving money through the first-of-its-kind program.
Boner Candidate #2: THE GRINCHES IN ROSE PARK
SALT LAKE CITY — A Rose Park neighborhood hopes to track down a group of thieves the neighbors believe stole a flurry of large holiday decorations from a number of homes in the middle of the night. Surveillance video from several neighbors shows a group of four walking down various streets in the area around Carousel Street. Carousel is known for its Christmas display.
Boner Candidate #3: LOU. HEY YOU, LOU DOBBS. TIME TO GET SOME REST. COME ON LOU, THIS WAY
The election is over, the Trump legal team’s cases have been rejected in court, and the Supreme Court shot down two separate cases. Joe Biden will be inaugurated on January 20th. But on Fox Business Tuesday, Lou Dobbs continued to insist President Donald Trump still has a path to victory. Dobbs touted how Republican electors in several states that Joe Biden won came together to cast votes for the president. As many people pointed out yesterday, this is purely symbolic and completely meaningless to the actual outcome, but Dobbs framed it as “seven states have chosen a slate of electors for both Joe Biden and President Trump.” Which is not what happened.
