ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: NUTCRACKER HUH? THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES
Playboy model Francia James filmed herself wearing nothing but a thong, a hat and body paint while pretending to be the Nutcracker at a Florida mall before being inevitably kicked out.
Boner Candidate #2: MORE RACIST FUN FROM CACHE COUNTY
Two students at Sky View High School prompted lackluster action by the principal after attending a Halloween assembly in both a KKK outfit, and blackface. The school’s principal only ever talked to the parents of the two students calling their costume choices an “individual mistake.” After a 4 minute video from a diversity assembly, the principal said that the video may have been too divisive.
Boner Candidate #3: A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND
A man in South Carolina attempted to call in a false robbery in order to avoid a speeding ticket.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WON’T THAT BE FUN
A new rule from the CFPB lets debt collectors contact people both on social media and over text with unlimited messages, which is great news if you never valued your private life or privacy.
Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS DELICIOUS
A Florida woman received probation after biting, and choking her Uber driver completely unprovoked.
Boner Candidate #3: ARE ALL OF THOSE REALITY SHOW PEOPLE SCUM?
Famous for TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting,” Josh Duggar admitted to possessing child porn, and molesting a young girl. Josh Duggar’s lawyers are pushing to exclude the parents of the girl, and the father of Josh Duggar citing “The clergy privilege.”
