ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: THE REF GETS A LEFT HOOK OUTTA NOWHERE.
A Texas mother attacked a seventh grader at a middle school basketball game.
Boner Candidate #2: MAN, SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE RAILROAD COMMISSONER.
Texas candidate Sarah Stogner who’s running for Railroad Commissioner posted nearly-nude pictures of herself on top of an oil pump.
Boner Candidate #3: OH, COME ON TODD… REALLY?
Liberal logic …
2017-2021 Everything is POTUS’ fault
2021-now Nothing is POTUS’ fault— Todd Weiler (@gopTODD) February 24, 2022
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: YOU GAVE MY DAD THE WORST FADE EVER.
A man walked into a barber shop and poured gasoline on the floor in a fit of rage. He was arrested before anyone was hurt.
Boner Candidate #2: THE DROOLING BANDIT.
A burglar in New Jersey was arrested after he was traced back by the salvia he drooled all over the scene.
Boner Candidate #3: HEY ALVORD, WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAY OUT OF IT.
Salt Lake City councilman, David Alvord, said in a since-deleted Facebook post that, “I think we’re just talking about a small section of Ukraine. Help me understand why the U.S. should care. I’ve listened to a few reports. Putin = Evil? Is that it?”
