ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1: WOKENESS IS A CULT RESPONSIBLE FOR CORONAVIRUS
Tucker Carlson has found another way to sicken the airwaves. The Fox News host on Monday appeared to blame the spread of coronavirus on diversity and the “cult” of wokeness. (Listen to the clip below.) In a “Tucker Carlson Tonight” segment about the expanding outbreak of the virus called COVID-19, the right-wing personality joined growing racism against Asians since the virus emerged in China. Carlson claimed the media has underplayed the danger of the virus out of political correctness. “If you think maybe we ought to take some steps to protect ourselves from it, then you’re a bigot,” he said. After citing news articles about racial profiling against Asians (the virus originated in Wuhan, China), Carlson made a head-scratching pivot: “Identity politics trumped public health and not for the first time,” he said. “Wokeness is a cult. They would let you die before they admitted that diversity is not our strength.” Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: A VICTIM OF STATIC CLING
A mom has gone viral for a hilarious — and relatable — laundry flub. Heather M. Nicholson recently shared a post to Facebook detailing the embarrassing incident, which involved her young son, Hunter, and a thong. Nicholson began by explaining that she had just picked up Hunter after school, who was eager to tell her about something that happened in class. “Momma, something funny happened today,” Hunter said, according to Nicholson. When Nicholson inquired about what it could be, she said Hunter rolled up his pant leg and pulled out a pair of her thong underwear. “I found this during music class!” Hunter said. According to the embarrassed mom, her thong had stuck to the inside of her son’s pant leg due to static cling. “He said he panicked and just shoved it back up there and left it all day because he thought I would want it back!” she wrote in the post. “Then he said he kept pretending to tie his shoe all day to shove them back up his pant leg.” Nicholson could not stop laughing at the situation — and neither could those on social media, where the post has been shared nearly 290,000 times, and yielded more than 301,000 reactions. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #3: DON’T KNOW WHY HE’S SO PROUD OF THAT SHORT STACK
A Florida Man was arrested early Saturday morning after allegedly “offering to show his genitals” to “everyone” trying to enjoy a 3 AM meal at an IHOP, court records show. According to police, Allan Ibanez, 24, entered the Clearwater restaurant and “began approaching random tables and patrons offering to show his genitals and showing them condoms.” Ibanez, seen at right, was asked to leave by IHOP management, but he “continued to offer to show his genitals to everyone in the establishment,” a criminal complaint alleges. “This left patrons uncomfortable and wanting to leave.” Cops who arrested Ibanez for disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, noted that he had engaged in several instances of “disruptive behavior” earlier in the evening (for which he was not busted). Ibanez spent about 11 hours in custody before being freed from the Pinellas County jail on his own recognizance. Read More
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1: “IT’S FOR YOU”
Newly released body camera footage from the arrest of a 6-year-old girl at an Orlando school shows an officer placing zip ties on the girl’s wrists as she begs to be let go. A family attorney representing the Lucious and Emma Nixon Academy student released the footage Tuesday of the incident, which occurred in September 2019. The footage, shared with NBC affiliate WESH in Orlando, shows officer Dennis Turner tying the 6-year-old’s wrists and closing his squad car door on her as she cries to be set free. “What are those for?” the child cries as Turner reveals his zip ties. “It’s for you,” the officer responds. In another clip, the student is seen begging Turner to release her as he sits her in his squad car. “Please let me go!” she pleads in the video. Turner closes the door on her shortly after that. Around that time and in an unrelated incident, Turner reportedly arrested another young child at that same school. A police report from Sept. 19 alleges the student who was restrained kicked and punched three staff members at her school, and claims one of the staff members wished to press charges. A public relations representative for the Lucious and Emma Nixon Academy said the claims in the report were false. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO GET THE NURSE’S ATTENTION
A man who felt like he was being ignored set his hospital bed on fire while another patient was in the room in an attempt to get a nurse’s attention, according to the New Smyrna Beach Police Department. According to authorities, John King admitted to setting a plastic bag on fire on Saturday because he felt the AdventHealth New Smyrna Beach staff were ignoring his request to bring him his clothes and he believed that the fire would get their attention. King’s roommate in the hospital explained to officials that he had seen King light a small object on fire, but convinced him to put out the flame, records show. However, when he returned to his bed behind a curtain, he saw King relight the fire and the roommate used the emergency button to notify staff, the report said. “The (expletive) in here lit his bed on fire. I can’t breathe. The smoke is in the room,” the roommate told the nurses, records show. A nurse who heard the roommate yell entered the room after seeing the flames and shouted, “Fire. There’s a fire,” and ran to the nurse’s station to dial 911, according to authorities. A different nurse entered the room after hearing the yelling and put out the flames with a fire extinguisher when she noticed King making his way to the elevator in an attempt to escape, according to the affidavit. Staff stopped him and were able to secure him until fire officials arrived, police said. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #3: DESECRATED BY VANDALS
Another landmark in the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, was vandalized, making it the eighth site in less than a week to be tampered with, officials said. This time it was the 9/11 memorial, which was found “desecrated by vandals” on Sunday, according to the town’s fire department. The memorial — a 6-feet-tall granite pillar with the names of those killed in the attacks engraved on it and statutes of a firefighter and police officer standing beside it — was erected in 2004. Photos showed the police officer statue at the memorial was knocked over, with his head separated from his body. The statue of the firefighter at the memorial did not appear to be touched. “They can knock us down, but we will always get back up even stronger,” the fire department tweeted, noting that more than 25 firefighters came out to help restore the memorial. Town manager Melissa Arrighi wrote on Twitter that all signs of vandalism had been erased as of Monday. Less than a week before it was vandalized, seven other iconic sites in Plymouth, including Plymouth Rock, were defaced. Read More
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