ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: INTO THE CLOSET WITH YOU.
A student at Wahlquist Junior High School in Farr West was quarantined in a closet by a school nurse because they had been in contact with another student who tested positive for COVID days earlier.
Boner Candidate #2: AND TO CELEBRATE THEY DRANK EACH OTHER’S BLOOD.
In a post on Instagram, Megan Fox announced that she and Machine Gun Kelly recently got engaged and drank each other’s blood.
Boner Candidate #3: A BURNT HOT DOG COVERED IN TANNING OIL.
Hulk Hogan recently commented on a Facebook post implying that Betty White and Sidney Poitier died because they were “jabed”.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: SURE, SURE…FIRE A GUY FOR TAKING PRIDE IN HIS WORK.
It was discovered that a doctor in the UK had branded his initials into two transplanted livers when one of the livers failed after a week.
Boner Candidate #2: PURGING DARK SPIRITS DOESN’T COME CHEAP.
A man in New York, who is bipolar and suffers from depression, was swindled into paying over $1 million to a psychic in order to “purge dark spirits”.
Boner Candidate #3: HE LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE FIRST TIME.
The Legislative Affairs Director for the State Board of Administration in Florida was shot and killed in a road rage incident.
