Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for January 20th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I AM UNAWARE OF THE ITEMS IN MY HAT, SIR

A man accused of having cocaine in his hat told investigators he didn’t know the drugs were there, an arrest affidavit states.  A 29-year-old Vero Beach man was arrested at 11:10 p.m. Jan. 8 on a charge of possession of controlled substance after the headgear hullabaloo.  An Indian River County sheriff’s deputy reported stopping a bicycle without lights in the area of 17th Lane Southwest and 20th Avenue Southwest.  The 29-year-old bicyclist allowed deputies to search him.  In the brim of his hat, investigators reported finding “a white powdery substance” in cellophane cigarette packaging.  The bicyclist said he was unaware of the items in his hat.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: SIEG HEIL

A week after a “DEPORTM” Utah license plate attracted complaints from the public and lawmakers, residents are questioning the approval of yet another vanity plate: “FUHRER.”  “Oh, my God!’” Celeste Barker recalled saying when she noticed the plate in May in Salt Lake City. Barker posted a photo of the plate on social media and later discussed it with her neighbor, Polly Hart, who volunteered to make a complaint about the apparent Nazi reference during an errand at the Utah Division of Motor Vehicles to update her car information.  Hart said she raised the issue with staff at a DMV office in July. The plate was approved in April and was recalled in August, according to a spokesperson with the Utah Tax Commission, which oversees the DMV.  But Hart and Barker wonder why it was approved in the first place.  “How can they walk into the DMV and order these things? That poor guy had that ‘MERLOT’ license plate and everyone freaked out,” Barker said, recalling a previous controversy when Utah officials revoked a long-used license plate because it referred to a type of wine.  The division also has denied requests for hundreds of plates, including “HIGHBAL,” “4PLAY,” and “R3DRUM^” — but also seemingly innocuous plates, like “NVBLOND” and “C0WGIRL,” and even “CHEESE” and “COFFEE.”  “But they let ‘FUHRER’ and ‘DEPORTM’ go through,” Barker said. “‘FUHRER.’ I mean, really?”   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: KEEP AN EYE ON THE KIDS, WILL YOU?

Amber Barrett, 32, was arrested Thursday. She’s the Fargo woman accused of knowingly leaving a dead body at home with her two children and four of their friends.  According to the charges, she left the children with the body of a person who died from an overdose. That person has been identified as Faruk Shahid.  Barrett is facing charges not only for child neglect but also for failing to report the death, according to documents filed Wednesday at Cass County District Court.  Fargo police officers responded to the home for a reports of an unresponsive man on Nov. 16.  Police said six kids inside the home told officers the man was their mother’s friend.  The kids believed he overdosed.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: IT WAS RESEARCH

It wasn’t the research the university had in mind.  A Drexel University professor was arrested earlier this week and charged with two felonies for redirecting $189,000 in research grants from the university into his own pockets and spending the money on strippers, sports bars, iTunes and more, the Philadelphia District Attorney’s Office announced in a press release.  Chikaodinaka Nwankpa, the 57-year-old former head of Drexel’s computer engineering department, was charged with theft by unlawful taking and theft by deception, according to the release. His arrest comes more than three months after Drexel repaid the U.S. government for improper use of the research grants.  The money was meant for energy and naval technology research, but between 2007 and 2017, Nwankpa repurposed it and blew it on strip clubs, sports bars, iTunes purchases and other personal luxuries that he labelled “goods and services.” But the jig was up after an internal university audit discovered the fraud in 2017.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: YOU BETTER WATCH IT, OR MY MOM WILL STAB YOU IN THE FACE

A Utah mother is in the hospital while another mom is in jail — for allegedly stabbing the other mother in the face.  According to the Unified Police Department, two teenage girls got into a fight at school Friday afternoon.  It’s unclear at this time if the fight happened inside or outside, police say.  Later the same day, the mothers of the two girls got into a fight at a home near 2800 South 9100 West.  During the fight, one mother stabbed the other mother in the face, police say.  The 40-year-old victim was taken to the hospital in serious condition.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: THOSE CAMO UNIFORMS WILL BE GREAT

The U.S. Space Force (USSF) late Friday unveiled camouflage uniforms bearing the branch’s first nametapes for its members.  “The first #SpaceForce utility uniform nametapes have touched down in the Pentagon,” the service branch tweeted from its official account, attaching a photo of the uniforms.  The uniforms were welcomed with praise by some, including the official Twitter account for the U.S. Navy, which called the clothing “out of this world” in a tweet.  “What are the coordinates? Let’s trade,” the military branch added.  However, some social media users seized on the opportunity to mock the uniforms, asking questions such as “Why do we need camo in space?”  Another Twitter user wrote, “Camo in space? WTF? More wasted tax dollars. Great job!”  The USSF responded to some of the criticism in a tweet later Saturday morning, explaining that the branch had been utilizing uniforms from other military branches to prevent unnecessary costs.  “USSF is utilizing current Army/Air Force uniforms, saving costs of designing/producing a new one,” it wrote, adding, “Members will look like their joint counterparts they’ll be working with, on the ground.”   Read More


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