Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for July 16, 2020

BONER ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: WE NEED TO RESTRICT TRAVEL TO AND FROM UTAH COUNTY.

Provo • As she walked up to the podium to speak, one of the moms grabbed a face mask and spit her gum out into it. “It’s garbage,” she shrugged, wadding it up. “It doesn’t work anyway. Not for me and not for my kids.” A dad who spoke after her said he, too, doesn’t think the masks are effective, and said he’s pulling his kids out of school this fall if the state doesn’t lift its mandate requiring all K-12 students to wear a face covering. Another mother carried her 4-year-old son in her arms, noting there’s no way he would keep one on in his kindergarten class — but she thinks they’re stupid anyway, regardless of age. Parent after parent followed at the Utah County commission meeting Wednesday afternoon, objecting for more than two hours to having their kids in masks even as counts of the virus continue to climb across the state, where there are more than 30,000 confirmed cases. They packed into the small boardroom to talk, pulling tape off the seats meant to maintain social distancing and crowding in against the walls. They wore “Trump 2020” hats and carried little American flags, and every time someone said “freedom” or “constitutional rights” the whole room cheered. Almost no one wore a mask; those who did had them pulled under their chins. “This mandate for the children to wear masks is baloney,” said Cynthia Harding, a Provo resident. “We have the right to make our own choices.”

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S NOT GRAFFITI, IT’S BANKSY

On Tuesday, the famous street artist posted a video on Instagram and YouTube that showed him tagging the inside of a London Underground train on the Circle Line, according to the Washington Post. The video shows the artist posing as a maintenance worker, dressed in a boiler suit with mask, goggles, and an orange jacket. Banksy then paints his trademark rats across the train car — one sneezing with sickly-looking goo, one using a mask as a parachute, one holding hand sanitizer, and others wearing masks. He also tags his moniker. The video ends with the beginning of the song “Tubthumping” by the British rock band Chumbawamba. Banksy had painted similar words to the song’s opening lyrics onto the train doors and the station. Instead of “I get knocked down, but I get up again,” he spray-painted, “I get lockdown, but I get up again.” The artwork has already been removed by Transport for London, according to CNN. Officials said the artwork violated their strict anti-graffiti policy. “TfL appreciated the sentiment of encouraging people to wear face coverings,” a spokesperson for Transport for London said, according to the Washington Post.

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Boner Candidate #3: ALL THIS COUNTRY NEEDS IS BEANS AND A SMILE

President Donald Trump may be setting himself for a new gig after he leaves office ― as a spokesman for Goya Foods.The president posted a pic on Instagram Wednesday that showed him at his desk with a variety of Goya products, including cookies, coconut milk and adobo. Trump’s promo pic came a day after his daughter Ivanka Trump posted a Twitter selfie with a can of black beans, posing as if she were a spokesmodel on “The Price Is Right.” Both Trump photos came in reaction to a boycott against Goya that began after CEO Robert Unanue said that the country is “truly blessed” to be under Trump’s leadership. But the pics may violate the Code of Federal Regulations, which states that employees “shall not use or permit the use of his Government position or title or any authority associated with his public office to endorse any product.” HuffPost reached out to the White House about the possible violation, but it didn’t immediately respond.

 

BONER ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: GEORGIA IS ON THE RIGHT TRACK

Georgia governor extends coronavirus restrictions while encouraging use of face masks. Gov. Brian Kemp on Wednesday extended Georgia’s coronavirus restrictions while explicitly banning cities and counties from adopting rules requiring masks or other face coverings, a measure that could bolster the state’s case in a possible legal battle. Kemp’s executive order — which was set to expire Wednesday evening — still encourages, rather than requires, Georgians to wear masks in public. The governor has called such a requirement “a bridge too far,” and his office has said local mandates are unenforceable. The governor’s coronavirus orders have for months banned local governments from taking more restrictive or lenient steps than the state. But the new set of rules he signed on Wednesday specified for the first time that cities and counties can’t require the use of masks or other face coverings.

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Boner Candidate #2: YEAH, RIGHT DEMI….IT’S ALL BRUCE’S FAULT

Bruce Willis is taking the crap. Demi Moore is blaming her ex-husband Bruce Willis for putting carpeting in her bathroom in her Idaho home. “This is the house, again, that my children grew up in, and that was originally a Bruce Willis choice,” the actress said in an interview on “Late Night with Seth Meyers” Tuesday. Moore, 57, defended the 65-year-old “Die Hard” actor’s interesting design choices. “So, not to put it off on him, we also live in the mountains where it gets very cold. So, it’s never bothered me,” she admitted. “It’s actually quite good we put rugs in our bathroom.” Fans have been buzzing over photos she shared on Instagram of her makeshift podcast studio/bathroom, showing the actress sitting on a small couch with a laptop propped up on a table in front of her — and a toilet in the background. One fan took to Twitter to write an entire thread discussing Moore’s decor, to which the actress responded, “This thread has our whole family howling!”

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Boner Candidate #3: OMG, WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE

DENVER — It seems that the Tri-County Health Department (TCHD) does not accept the apologies made by the Douglas County Republicans for a Facebook post made over the weekend. The now-deleted photo post compared Colorado Gov. Jared Polis’ stance on masks during the COVID-19 pandemic to the death of George Floyd. The post showed a cartoon police officer labeled “Polis” stepping on the neck of a man and holding a mask to the man’s face with a police baton. The cartoon included the caption “We Can’t Breathe,” echoing the words said by Floyd, who died in May after a Minneapolis police officer held a knee to his neck. “At Tri-County Public Health Department, we are sickened by the political cartoon that was recently placed on the Douglas County GOP’s Facebook page that likens a facemask mandate to the murder of George Floyd,”

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