ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: KID ROCK, TRUE TO FORM
Kid Rock was recorded ranting on stage about a group of kids recording his concert on their phones. The rant even included some colorful language and homophobic slurs.
Boner Candidate #2: WE GOT A NEW GUY BECAUSE THERE ARE PROBLEMS WITH THE OLD GUY
After a Fox 13 investigation revealed that multiple University of Utah high-paid executives lied on their resume, The University has hired Diane Parisi to be the temporary managing director for the Pioneer Theater. This is all while Christopher Massimine is on personal leave.
Boner Candidate #3: A NEW DUMBEST MEMBER OF CONGRESS… THEY KEEP COMING EVERY DAY
After Republican Rep. Mo Brooks posted his Gmail, and PIN numbers on Twitter, he’s become known as “perhaps the dumbest member of Congress.” The tweets were meant to lash out at Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell, because of a subpoena he served to Rep. Brooks’ wife.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WHERE ARE JAKE AND ELWOOD WHEN YOU NEED THEM?
Mary Margaret Kreuper, who ran a Catholic school in Torrance pleaded guilty to stealing over $835,000. Some of the money went to fuel her gambling habit.
Boner Candidate #2: IF THERE IS SEXY ON YOUR PHONE, IT IS NEVER SAFE.
A women with sexy pictures of herself sent her iPhone into Apple for repairs. The two apple repairmen posted the pictures and videos onto her personal Facebook page.
Boner Candidate #3: COME ON. LET THE BAND PERFORM.
Farmington Highschool’s Band was offered the opportunity to preform in Hawaii in memorial of Pearl Harbor’s 80th anniversary. School Board executives voted 5-2 against the trip because it was too expense, more then 3 days and outside the continental United States.
