ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: GET YOUR LASSOES AND SADDLE UP
South Georgia’s Rattle Snake Roundups have been becoming more humane, but they still openly skin and kill rattle snakes in front of a live crowd.
Boner Candidate #2: I’M TERRIFIED FOR MY LITTLE GRANDDAUGHTER
A grandmother of a 14 year old girl is advocating against bullying in schools after her 14 year old granddaughter was physically assaulted in the parking lot of Utah’s own Carbon High School.
Boner Candidate #3: I NEED THE COPS TO HELP ME WITH SOME PRODUCT TESTING.
A man in Florida wasn’t sure if the meth he purchased was fake, so he asked the police to test it for him.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: YEAH, I STOOD THERE AND I WOULD STAND THERE AGAIN.
Idaho’s gubernatorial candidate Ammon Bundy was arrested after protesting outside of a hospital. This is the sixth time that he’s been arrested in the past two years.
Boner Candidate #2: THE WIFE HAS A HOME BUSINESS THAT REALLY WORKS WITH MY HOBBY.
Sandy Fire Department’s captain was arrested for child pornography after hidden cameras were discovered in his wife’s tanning and seamstress business.
Boner Candidate #3: IF YOU CAN MAKE A YOUNG WOMAN CRY… WELL THEN YOU’VE REALLY ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.
A fan at an Indian Wells tennis match heckled Naomi Osaka to tears by “you suck” because she lost her match.
