Boners

Boner of the Day for March 2nd, 2022

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: STEALING FROM THE DEAD

California’s former sheriff’s deputy pleaded guilty after being accused of stealing from dead bodies.

via Newser

Boner Candidate #2: THEY’RE FIREBALL FAIRIES.

A couple on TikTok chose to use ‘fireball fairies’ in place of flower girls at their wedding.

via The New York Post

Boner Candidate #3: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

Florida Sen. Marco Rubio ranted about the Covid-19 testing requirements for the State of the Union. During his rant he said: “For the first time in American history you now have people having to produce paper to go in somewhere, to sit somewhere, to go to the State of the Union,”

via Yahoo News

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: YOU SAY ANYTHING WE DEEM TO BE CONTROVERSIAL WE’LL YANK YOUR LICENSE. OR, WHO WANTS TO BE A TEACHER THESE DAYS?

Utah’s own Sen. John Johnson introduced a bill that would investigate a teacher’s license if they talk about anything considered ‘controversial.’

via The Salt Lake Tribune

Boner Candidate #2: SEND HER BACK TO COLORADO.

Rep. Lauren Boebert responded to president Biden’s State of the Union address in a mature and responsibly way by heckling him midway through his speech about his dead son.

via Yahoo News

Boner Candidate #3: NEWS OF CHIEF SPIVEY’S DEATH HAS BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED

Former police chief Mr. Spivey was found to have faked his own suicide to avoid charges against him of over 70 felonies.

via The New York Times

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