Boners

Boner of the Day for March 5th, 2019

Round 1

Candidate #1: YOU HAVE HATRED IN YOUR HEART AND YOU NEED TO FORGIVE

After a longtime youth minister’s recent conviction on corruption of minors and indecent exposure charges, a judge in this western Pennsylvania community did what the Uniontown Church of Christ’s elders refused to do. The judge told Clyde E. Brothers Jr. to stay away from church services. Brothers, 70, served for many years as the volunteer youth minister for the 100-member Uniontown congregation. Since at least the 1980s, he also interacted with hundreds of children as a founding board member for Camp Concern — a Bible camp directed and sponsored by members of Churches of Christ. Generations of parents entrusted Brothers with instilling Christian faith and values in their children in this city of 10,000. Victims’ relatives say his case points to a problem that plagues not just the Roman Catholic Church and the Southern Baptist Convention — both embroiled in major sex abuse scandals — but also the nation’s 12,000 autonomous Churches of Christ.

Candidate #2: NOW THAT’S DETECTIVE WORK AT ITS FINEST

Police in New Jersey say footprints in the snow led them from a crashed stolen car to the man suspected of stealing the car. Hackensack Police Capt. Peter Busciglio says the 23-year-old suspect was arrested on motor vehicle theft and resisting arrest charges Saturday. NorthJersey.com reports the victim told police he left his car running with the keys in the ignition when it was stolen. Authorities say the victim got into a company car and pursued the suspect until he crashed and fled on foot. Responding officers tracked down the suspect by following his footprints in the snow. The suspect has been released on a summons and no court date has been scheduled.

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Candidate #3: THE ANTI-SEMETIC ANIMAL HOUSE

A group of high school students in California turned a Newport Beach residence into the anti-Semitic “Animal House” — adorning it with a giant swastika made out of red solo cups, which they toasted over and used to play drinking games. Photos posted on social media also showed the students throwing up Nazi salutes as they partied inside the home this weekend.
“Ultimate rage,” a message reads on one of the pics, which surfaced Sunday.
School officials have reportedly launched an investigation into the images.

Round 2

Candidate #1: IT WAS AN UNSPORTSMANLIKE RUCKUS AFTER THE UTAH STATE GAME. BUT THE FANS WEREN’T AT FAULT

The tempers that flared — and went viral — in the aftermath of Utah State’s biggest win in over a decade did not have anything to do with the thousands of fans who rushed the court in celebration Saturday evening. That determination comes from the Mountain West Conference league office, which on Monday, issued a statement explaining that the situation in the hallways of the Dee Glen Smith Spectrum was due to “inappropriate conduct” from both programs in the postgame handshake line, and subsequently, in the locker room areas. The WC office said it reviewed video clips from various sources as well as a collection of written statements from individuals involved. The USU fans who stormed the court after the 81-76 win over then No. 12-ranked Nevada were not the root of the incidents that surfaced in expletive-laden videos posted late Saturday evening. The league will not sanction or fine either school, rather leaving it up each individual university to determine penalties for those involved.

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Candidate #2: CONGRESSMAN KING AT IT AGAIN

The congressman from Iowa quote-tweeted Faith Goldy, a Canadian white nationalist who once recommended a book calling for the “elimination of Jews.” By Christopher Mathias and Roque Planas For the third time in less than a year, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) has promoted an open white nationalist on Twitter.  On Friday, the congressman quote-tweeted Faith Goldy, a Canadian white nationalist who has publicly recited the “14 words,” a white supremacist mantra, and who once recommended a book that calls for the “elimination of Jews.”  Goldy also once appeared on a podcast produced by The Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website which advocates for gassing Jews. In that podcast, Goldy praised white supremacist figurehead Richard Spencer.

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Candidate #3: I WAS JUST PLAYIN’ A JOKE ON OLE GRANDPA

A Wisconsin teen injected cow tranquilizers into his stepdad’s energy drinks in an attempt to be “funny” — and now he’s been moo-ved to an area jail.
Tyler Rabenhorst-Malone, 17, allegedly spiked his dairy farmer stepdad’s energy drink with a sedative used on cows giving birth. According to the criminal complaint, “the victim was left stumbling and suffering slurred speech, a droopy face, and heavy breathing.” Doctors concluded the symptoms were because of “stress, lack of sleep, and the victim’s consumption of energy drinks.” But when the symptoms returned, the stepdad concluded Rabenhorst-Malone was “messing with him” and stopped leaving his drinks unattended.

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