Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for May 14th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: STEALING FROM THE NEEDY

A man appeared to steal a donation jar meant for women and children Friday — and he was caught on camera. In surveillance video captured by several cameras at Vapor Vault near the Newgate Mall in Ogden, a man reached behind the counter for a vaporizer. But apparently, that wasn’t enough. The man in a bright shirt, hat, jeans and boots came back for the donation jar half an hour later. Another camera angle shows him using a jacket slung over his shoulder to hide the jar and walk out the door while a man with him blocks an employee’s view. Vapor Vault owner Warren Braegger estimates $150 in donations were stolen. It was money he planned to give to the YCC Family Crisis Center. “Of course it is discouraging,” YCC Family Crisis Center Executive Director Margaret Rose said. “Obviously that person seemed like he must need the money.” The YCC serves thousands of women and children in northern Utah escaping domestic violence or recovering from sexual assault. Rose said the nonprofit relies on donations to help people who arrive with next to nothing. “I just saw a woman come in this morning, and she had a little grocery bag of her child’s clothes,” Rose said. “She was pushing the little baby, and that’s all she arrived here with.” Braegger said the Vapor Vault planned to match the donations in the jar dollar-for-dollar, totaling about $300. Rose said it could have bought diapers for young mothers in crisis. “To have that violated,” Rose said, “that’s disheartening.” In the last three years, Braegger said the store has matched $7,000 in donations for local non-profits. Braegger said they have an idea who the man is in the video. After hearing about the theft, an anonymous donor gave $55 to the YCC.

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Boner Candidate #2: COME ON IT WAS A JOKE.

After hours of delays, a man on a Southwest Airlines flight from Sacramento to Los Angeles was kicked off after passengers say he made a vodka joke as a flight attendant handed out water. A fellow passenger told KTXL it was the flight attendant who overreacted to the joke. “I have been flying for decades and I’ve never ever seen anything like this,” said passenger Peter Uzelac. Wednesday afternoon, Uzelac was on Flight 478 to Austin Texas from Sacramento International Airport with a stop at Los Angeles International Airport. While on the tarmac, a maintenance light came on. “It’s minor but they want to go back to the gate and check it out and see,” Uzelac said. Then the flight was delayed again. “You know, we’ve been burning fuel,” Uzelac explained. By the time they needed to refuel, a few hours had passed. So, the flight attendants started to pass out water to all the passengers. That’s when Uzelac says the man next to him made the joke. “He said something [like], ‘They should be passing out vodka because we’ve been waiting so long,’” Uzelac said. Uzelac says the flight attendant, who he described as young, did not take kindly to that comment. “She came by and was like, ‘I don’t think that and I didn’t like your joke,’” he explained. “Then my wife tried to butt in there and say, ‘Look it, we’ve been on this plane for hours.’ And she says, ‘Well, so have I, so get used to it.’” Uzelac and the other passengers were shocked by the flight attendant’s reaction. “Then all of a sudden, I see her on the telephone up in front,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT WILL MAKE ME A BETTER PLAYER

A Florida man was arrested over the weekend for playing basketball naked because he thought it would improve his skills, police say. Around 7:36 p.m. local time on Sunday, a Longwood Police Department officer responded to a “white male who was not wearing clothing” at Candy Land Park on 299 Longdale Avenue, according to an arrest report. When police arrived at the scene, Jordan Glen Anderson, 29, could be seen walking around on the basketball court of the park playing with a ball without any clothing on his body. When authorities approached Anderson and asked what he was doing, he “stated he was working on his basketball skills and he feels playing naked enhances his skill level,” the officer stated in the report. The officer then told Anderson to get dress and he complied. The officer made contact with the park employee at the scene, who said that he contacted police when he saw Anderson in the nude playing basketball around the premise. Anderson was then charged with indecent exposure of sexual organs and subsequently transported to the John E. Polk Correctional Facility for processing on a $500 bond. It is unclear whether Anderson has been released.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS THE LEGO CRACK HOUSE KIT

An unsuspecting group of Georgia women and a child were in for a surprise when they opened a Lego box purchased at a South Carolina shop and found a large bag of meth, police say. The Bulloch County Sheriff’s Office said a “citizen reported to the Sheriff’s Office that they purchased a box of Legos at a consignment shop in South Carolina,” the office wrote in a Facebook post Wednesday. “Upon returning home and opening the box they discovered the box contained a quantity of methamphetamine instead of Legos,” the office wrote. Bulloch County sheriff’s Investigator Jim Riggs told the Statesboro Herald that three women bought what they thought was a toy but actually contained about three pounds of methamphetamine worth $40,000. “They took it and gave it to a young child, who opened the box” Riggs told the newspaper. The child was likely very disappointed, he added. The Sheriff’s Office then contacted the Drug Enforcement Administration, which said the box might have been purchased in an auction before making it the consignment shop.

Boner Candidate #2: THE PLANET IS DOOMED

On the deepest dive ever made by a human inside a submarine, a Texas investor found something he could have found in the gutter of nearly any street in the world: litter. Victor Vescovo, a retired naval officer, made the unsettling discovery as he descended nearly 35,853ft (10,927 meters) to a point in the Pacific Ocean’s Mariana Trench that is the deepest place on Earth, his expedition said in a statement on Monday. His dive went 52ft (16 meters) lower than the previous deepest descent in the trench in 1960. Vescovo, the Dallas-based co-founder of Insight Equity Holdings, a private equity fund, found the manmade material on the ocean floor and is trying to confirm that it is plastic, said Stephanie Fitzherbert, a spokeswoman for Vescovo’s Five Deeps Expedition.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT WAS AN ADULT HAPPY MEAL

While Taco Bell is known for serving a wide variety of Mexican dishes, box cutters are not on the menu. A woman in St. Augustine, Fla, claims that her co-worker went to a Taco Bell during the evening shift and ordered a Fiesta Taco Salad. When she got back to work, she reportedly opened up the box and discovered an unusual item. Sitting right next to her food was a box cutter. Ashley McNamara posted pictures of her coworker’s odd dinner to Twitter. It shows a box cutter with a yellow handle neatly tucked right next to the taco salad. First Coast News in Florida reports that McNamara said that she and her coworker called the restaurant immediately to report the situation, and claim that the restaurant’s response was “sorry, it must have fallen in the box.” In a statement obtained by Fox News, a spokesperson for Taco Bell said, “the safety of our customers and team members is our top priority; we are grateful to hear that no one was injured. The operator of this location has reached out to the customer to apologize and resolve this accident. Team members at this restaurant will be retrained on proper storage and safety procedures.” After the image showed up in a review group on social media, the manager of the Taco Bell reportedly reached out to McNamara and her coworker to apologize and offer them a gift card, First Coast News reports.

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