Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for May 14th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: COME ON IT WAS A JOKE.

After hours of delays, a man on a Southwest Airlines flight from Sacramento to Los Angeles was kicked off after passengers say he made a vodka joke as a flight attendant handed out water. A fellow passenger told KTXL it was the flight attendant who overreacted to the joke. “I have been flying for decades and I’ve never ever seen anything like this,” said passenger Peter Uzelac. Wednesday afternoon, Uzelac was on Flight 478 to Austin Texas from Sacramento International Airport with a stop at Los Angeles International Airport. While on the tarmac, a maintenance light came on. “It’s minor but they want to go back to the gate and check it out and see,” Uzelac said. Then the flight was delayed again. “You know, we’ve been burning fuel,” Uzelac explained. By the time they needed to refuel, a few hours had passed. So, the flight attendants started to pass out water to all the passengers. That’s when Uzelac says the man next to him made the joke. “He said something [like], ‘They should be passing out vodka because we’ve been waiting so long,’” Uzelac said. Uzelac says the flight attendant, who he described as young, did not take kindly to that comment. “She came by and was like, ‘I don’t think that and I didn’t like your joke,’” he explained. “Then my wife tried to butt in there and say, ‘Look it, we’ve been on this plane for hours.’ And she says, ‘Well, so have I, so get used to it.’” Uzelac and the other passengers were shocked by the flight attendant’s reaction. “Then all of a sudden, I see her on the telephone up in front,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE PLANET IS DOOMED

On the deepest dive ever made by a human inside a submarine, a Texas investor found something he could have found in the gutter of nearly any street in the world: litter. Victor Vescovo, a retired naval officer, made the unsettling discovery as he descended nearly 35,853ft (10,927 meters) to a point in the Pacific Ocean’s Mariana Trench that is the deepest place on Earth, his expedition said in a statement on Monday. His dive went 52ft (16 meters) lower than the previous deepest descent in the trench in 1960. Vescovo, the Dallas-based co-founder of Insight Equity Holdings, a private equity fund, found the manmade material on the ocean floor and is trying to confirm that it is plastic, said Stephanie Fitzherbert, a spokeswoman for Vescovo’s Five Deeps Expedition.

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