ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: IF YOU GET HIT WITH A BUCKET OF S*** BE SURE TO CLOSE YOUR EYES
A homeless man dumped a bucket of “hot” diarrhea on a Los Angeles woman near the Hollywood Walk of Fame — an unprovoked attack that’s left her with PTSD, she said this week. Heidi Van Tassel said she was about to drive home from a Thai restaurant near the famed tourist area in April when the alleged assailant, Jere Blessings, ragged her out of her vehicle, news station NBC4 reported. He pulled her into the middle of the street, where he dumped a bucket of feces over her head, she said. “It was diarrhea. Hot liquid,” Van Tassel told NBC4. “I was soaked, and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes.” Referring to the amount of feces used in the attack, paramedics who treated her said that it “looked like the man was saving it up for a month,” according to Van Tassel. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: YOU CAN REALLY TASTE THE DUNG
A gin tasting session is held at the Botlierskop Private Game Reserve, near Mossel Bay, South Africa, Monday, Oct. 23, 2019. After about five sizeable bags of dung are collected for a batch of 3,000 to 4,000 bottles of the gin, the droppings are dried and crumbled, then washed to remove dirt and sand. Eventually only the remains of the fruits, flowers, leaves and bark eaten by the elephants are left behind. MOSSEL BAY, South Africa (AP) – The makers of a South African gin infused with elephant dung swear their use of the animal’s excrement is no gimmick. The creators of Indlovu Gin, Les and Paula Ansley, stumbled across the idea a year ago after learning that elephants eat a variety of fruits and flowers and yet digest less than a third of it. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: CANDY PILLS WILL TAKE AWAY THE PAIN
EW HANOVER COUNTY (WECT) – Parents of students at Myrtle Grove Middle School are concerned a visual aid used during a career fair sends the wrong message — and could even be dangerous. On Friday, Nov. 8, some students who visited the career fair were given prescription pill bottles filled with Skittles as a visual aid about the day-to-day work in a pharmacy. The bottles have New Hanover Regional Medical Center’s logo and information printed on them, along with the “prescription” for 300 mg of the candy. Instructions on the bottles indicate the “patient” should “take two tablets by mouth twice a day as needed for pain.” “To me, it’s a huge huge safety thing,” said Jason Efird, whose son attended the fair and sent him photos of the bottles. Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: HERE HEXXIE. NICE HEXXIE.
An English dad claims his pet Burmese python has grown into the world’s biggest, but is still welcome to live in his home — alongside his much smaller children. Marcus Hobbs, 31, bought Hexxie from a pet shop eight years ago when the reptile was just 8 inches long. The constrictor is now over 18 feet, Hobbs claims. “I knew she would be big but she has shocked everybody by how much she has grown,” Hobbs, an IT worker from Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire, told South West News Service. The potentially lethal reptile, who is still growing, chows down on rabbits, stillborn deer, calves, goats and pigs — and poops enough to fill a large trash bag once a month, according to the news agency. Experts say the biggest Burmese python was 18 feet, 8 inches long, but Hobbs claims Hexxie is even bigger. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: MAKING PLEASANT GROVE LESS THAN PLEASANT
PLEASANT GROVE — A Pleasant Grove man is fed up with vandalism to his property and his vehicles, saying the attacks are getting worse and he fears his son is being targeted. Seth Holdaway and his family have lived in their Pleasant Grove home for about 17 years. He said they love the community and are surrounded by wonderful neighbors, but it’s getting hard to stay. “We had a dry ice bomb put in our mailbox,” Holdaway said. “It blew out both sides of the mailbox and shot it up into the air. We’ve had our fenced kicked in and even some graffiti on the fence recently.” Holdaway estimated there have been about a dozen such incidents since they moved in, but he said it was a situation involving his 17-year-old son that hurt the most. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: AGAIN, WHAT ELSE SHOULD SHE DO. SHE HAD NO CHOICE.
A Florida woman is accused of setting fire to her boyfriend’s home after catching him with another woman. Tyetha Moore, 47, of Pensacola, was arrested Thursday and charged with first-degree arson, the Pensacola News Journal reported. She was being held in the Escambia County Jail in lieu of a $25,000 bond, according to arrest records, According to an arrest report by the Florida Bureau of Fire, Arson and Explosives Investigations, a fire was reported at an unoccupied residence around 9 a.m. Nov. 7. Moore was standing in the driveway of the home when firefighters arrived, the News Journal reported. According to the arrest report, Moore told an Escambia County Fire Rescue battalion chief she used to live at the home but moved out last month when she caught her boyfriend with another woman. Read More
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