ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: GO FOR THE TWO POINT CONVERSION JUST IN CASE THEY MAKE A BIG COMBACK.
An LA high school issued an apology after their football team beat another school with a score of 106-0.
Boner Candidate #2: BY THEIR OWN WORDS SHALL YE KNOW THEM.
During a San Diego board of supervisors public meeting, a man who was attending made racist remarks while he was at the podium and has since been fired from his job at a radio station.
Boner Candidate #3: A TRUE FLORIDA MAN.
A man with a tattoo of Florida on his face was charged with battery by strangulation after he choked his mother because she woke him up while he was sleeping in his mobile home.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: DEFINITELY GOING TO JAIL.
Jennifer Ryan, the woman who used the attack on the Capitol to promote her brand, has been sentenced to 60 days in prison- after she was convinced she wasn’t going to prison.
Boner Candidate #2: HE WASN’T EVER GONNA USE THAT STUFF AGAIN.
A woman in Idaho has been charged with counts of alteration of evidence, malicious injury to property and grand theft after she stole rings, a gun belt, and other things off of a security guard who had been shot during a mall shooting.
Boner Candidate #3: AND SHE’S A NEWS REPORTER STAR PERSON.
The conservative news network Newsmax has removed White House correspondent Emerald Robinson after she claimed that COVID vaccines contain bioluminescent tracker related to the Devil.
