Boners

Boner of the Day for October 29th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: I’M SAD THAT I HAVE TO HIDE THE REAL ME.

The 23-year-old has been in the spotlight for over a decade. From starring on Keeping Up With the Kardashians since she was 9 years old to amassing nearly 200 million followers on Instagram, she’s the definition of a star. And while many of her fans have come to love the Kylie Cosmetics founder for her style, beauty and small screen persona, she recently opened up about the side of herself she rarely displays in front of the cameras. While filming a Halloween makeup tutorial with James Charles on his YouTube channel, the reality TV personality admitted to feeling “sad” about not being able to show her most authentic self. “I think that I showed my true personality for so long ago on Vine and Instagram,” she began to explain. “But as I got bigger and bigger, I realized… when people used to say really mean things about how I really am, my personality and what I love the most about myself, it would hurt me more than almost playing a character.” She continued, “So I just started doing a little less, which is sad. It makes me sad.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS BOY’S FOOTBALL. YOU GOT THAT PRINCESS?

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah teenager who was the only girl on her school’s football team says she was forced to change in the boys’ locker room at away games and often faced discriminatory treatment by her coach and teammates, she said in federal court Tuesday. Laura Goetz, 16, said she felt excluded and degraded during the two years she played football at West Jordan High School. She testified Tuesday as part of a lawsuit filed by viral football star Sam Gordon that aims to give girls the chance to play football on female-only high school teams. Goetz said one coach insisted on calling her “princess,” and that when she was a captain her sophomore year some of her teammates ripped up her headshot and left the pieces under the team’s display case. “They don’t like me,” Goetz said she thought at the time. “They make sure I understand that, and that I don’t belong there.” Coaches, teammates and some school administrators would often refer to the sport as “boys football,” Goetz said. She said the coaches emphasized the importance of becoming men, and the team would chant “brotherhood” during games and practices.

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Boner Candidate #3: JUST WHAT HAS ALEX JONES GOTTEN RIGHT JOE?

In public, Spotify is staying quiet about an appearance by conspiracy theorist Alex Jones yesterday on its flagship podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, despite banning Jones’ own podcast last year. But in an internal email sent from a top executive, the company is defending the booking. Horacio Gutierrez, the company’s chief legal officer and head of global affairs, wrote to team managers on Oct. 28 about the episode of Joe Rogan’s podcast that featured an interview with Jones and podcast host Tim Dillon. “If a team member has concerns about any piece of content on our platform, you should encourage them to report it to Trust & Safety because they are the experts on our team charged with reviewing content,” Gutierrez wrote in an email obtained by BuzzFeed News. “However, it’s important that they aren’t simply flagging a piece of content just because of something they’ve read online. It’s all too common that things are taken out of context.”

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: IT’S MY PARTY AND I’LL SPEND A MILLION IF I WANT TO.

Kim Kardashian spent $1 million to fly her family and friends on a private jet to celebrate her 40th birthday on one of the world’s most breathtaking private islands in Tahiti, Page Six can exclusively reveal. Kim chartered an 88-seat Boeing 777 last week to fly a group of under 30 to The Brando, a luxurious private island resort in French Polynesia with just 35 villas. Her group — which included sisters Kourtney Kardashian, Khloé Kardashian and Kendall Jenner, brother Rob Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner — were treated to a host of lavish dinners, spa visits and guided treks through the lush island, known locally as Tetiaroa Atoll and famed for its stunning blue lagoon. A source told us, “The group was limited to Kim’s closest family and friends. Everyone on the trip was repeatedly tested for COVID before they left in the middle of the night on a private Boeing 777.

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Boner Candidate #2: SO YOU SHIPPED THE ONLY COPIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY? RIGHT.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson told his viewers that he had some very important papers related to his conspiracy theory surrounding Hunter Biden, son of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden. But the papers were lost ― and so Carlson concocted yet another conspiracy theory to explain their disappearance. Carlson claimed a “source” gave the Fox News show “damning” documents about Biden on Monday. Carlson’s producer shipped the documents across the country via a “brand-name company,” but they never arrived. Instead, the shipping company said the package had been opened and the documents were missing. The shipping company launched a search and called in security to interview everyone who touched the documents, Carlson said. “They went far and beyond, but they found nothing,” he said. “Those documents had vanished.” He said the unnamed company’s executives are “baffled and deeply bothered by this, and so are we.” Carlson did not explain why they shipped the only copy of “damning” documents.

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Boner Candidate #3: ANOTHER GREAT TIKTOK IDEA

Thought remodeling one’s teeth with a nail file was harebrained? Now clout-seekers on TikTok are supergluing costume vampire fangs to their teeth in a viral Halloween trend that dentists are deeming dumb and dangerous. “That’s just not meant for oral use. It says it right on the label,” Dr. LaQuia Vinson with Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University Health, told WISH-TV in Indianapolis. Indeed, the viral videos — which, using the hashtag #VampireFangs, have amassed 9 million views — depict various bozos struggling to remove the faux chompers after fastening them to their teeth using Super Glue, nail glue and other adhesives. In one particularly alarming video, an amateur cosmetician reportedly spent three hours trying to extract the vampire teeth with nail polish remover, almost yanking his teeth out in the process. Unsurprisingly, dentists advise against the practice. “Don’t use nail glue — it’s poisonous and won’t come off,” Dr. Z. Mackie, a Detroit dental practitioner, cautioned in a TikTok video. Specifically, these harmful chemicals can cause everything from enamel erosion to lacerations or sloughing of the tissues in the oral cavity, according to Dr. Vinson. California cosmetic dentist Dr. Jennifer Haddad, even told Health that improperly placed Dracula dentures could affect the person’s bite and “potentially damage neighboring teeth.”

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