Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for October 30th, 2019

ROUND ONE

 

BONER CANDIDATE #1: HOW CAN YOU BE SURE THAT IT’S COUNTERFEIT?

Police are searching for a man who walked into a bank in Nebraska this week and tried to open a checking account with a fake $1 million bill. Staff at the Pinnacle Bank branch in Lincoln reported the Monday morning incident to police. The Lincoln Journal Star reports that bank employees say the man was adamant that the bill was real despite tellers’ attempts to convince him otherwise. The man eventually left with the bill, but without a new account.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: DID YOU EVER HEAR THE PHRASE “GO SMOKE A ROPE”?

Two men were arrested after the sheriff’s department says the pair tried to steal almost 200 hemp stalks from a local farm. According to the Henderson County Sheriff’s Department, deputies were called to an area of US 60 East for a report of people trying to steal hemp plants. The sheriff’s department says the suspects were gone by the time they arrived, but they were eventually found and arrested. Aaron Peaugh and Dylan Wallace, both of Evansville, were identified as the suspects, the sheriff’s department says. The news release from the Henderson County Sheriff’s Department says Peaugh and Wallace tried to steal more than 190 hemp stalks.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: DID YOU KNOW THE OBAMACARE WEBSITE COST MORE THAN TRUMP’S WALL?

Eric Trump, U.S. President Donald Trump’s second-eldest son, has a large presence on Instagram, with 1 million followers. So his posts have a wide reach, including those that contain inaccurate information. In early September 2019, Eric Trump published a post on Instagram with a quote attributed to actor and comedian Tim Allen, stating that the 45th president’s promised border wall will cost less than the website for Obamacare, referencing the site used to administer the health care policy of President Trump’s predecessor, Barack Obama. The exact source of this quote is unclear, but it does not appear to have originated with “Home Improvement” star Allen. The quote has been on social media, in the form of various memes, since at least January 2019. The earliest version we found was posted to a pro-Trump Facebook page on Jan. 27.   Read More

 

ROUND TWO

 

BONER CANDIDATE #1: GOTT IM HIMMEL…BEST FUNERAL EVER!

Mourners at a funeral in northern Germany were accidentally served “hash cake,” local police say. Thirteen funeral-goers at a restaurant in Wiethagen experienced nausea and dizziness after eating the cake. A police investigation found a restaurant employee’s daughter had been asked to bake the cake. But the 18-year-old had also baked a “hash cake” for a separate occasion, and the mother took the wrong dessert to work.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: BAN BLACK CLOTHING…THAT’LL SOLVE THE PROBLEM

Imagine a world where you couldn’t wear black. Where would that leave the beatniks and the goths? The Audrey Hepburn wannabes? Where would it leave the fashion folk, and all the social and cultural groups that have seized on the color as an identifier thanks to its long-term associations with … well, take your pick … darkness, existential angst, artistic endeavor, intimidation, obscurity, rigor, efficiency, mystery, depression and sophistication? Where would it leave the protesters? This is perhaps a more apropos question. After all, it is the pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong who have become known most recently for wearing black as they take a stand against the attempts of the Chinese government to make their region less semiautonomous. And it is those protesters who have become the target for a possible ban — at least, that’s the word on the street — on the import of black clothing from mainland China to Hong Kong. This follows an earlier ban, issued by the Hong Kong chief executive, on the wearing of face masks. According to the South China Morning Post, the no-black-imports edict was first issued in July but recently became more all encompassing. By banning the import of new garments — including black T-shirts, headbands and goggles — the government (or its minions; it’s hard to tell if the ban is in anticipation of the government’s wishes or reflects its actual wishes) is effectively trying to cut off protesters’ access to their uniform.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: THEY HAD TO USE RUBBER DEVICES ON SHANE FUNK

A man is in custody after officials say he rode down a Topeka street in a stolen excavator, leaving houses with property damage and endangering officers. Topeka Police say 46-year-old Shane Funk was driving the stolen piece of machinery in the Oakland neighborhood, at the 500 block of NE Lake Street. When officers arrived at the scene they urged him to stop the excavator. Instead, he started waving the loader at them. Officers then used rubber devices to keep Funk from operating the excavator.   Read More

 


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