ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: SEXY? MMMM NOT SO MUCH
Madonna’s daughter Lourdes Leon, stuck her tongue out, and flaunted her unshaven armpit hair at the Met Gala.
Boner Candidate #2: AND HE WAS COMPLETELY NUDE TO BOOT.
A man attempting to escape a hit-and-run crash attempted to ram two other police cars. All while being entirely naked.
Boner Candidate #3: YOU’LL NEED A PERMIT TO GO HUNTING.
Proud Boy stickers advocating the murder of Afghan refugees were distributed across the University of Michigan campus. The stickers look like hunting permits, even saying “This certifies that ___ having paid the license, is fee hereby licensed to hunt and kill Afghan refugees nationwide.”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THAT’S ON US. MY BAD. MY BAD.
Due to a missing warrant, a felon considered to be dangerous was released early. Assistant state court administrator Michael Drechsel said: “Should it have happened? Should a warrant have issued as the judge ordered? Absolutely, 100 percent. Did it? Unfortunately, no, and that’s on us.”
Boner Candidate #2: THOSE KIDS CAN’T HELP SOCIETY
For the second time in a row, a Utah bill that had successfully passed both houses of the Utah legislature proposed more funding for students with special needs was completely shut down by the Executive Appropriations Committee.
Boner Candidate #3: I GOT A RIGHT. THEY’RE MY KIDS. I GOT A RIGHT
Two women were charged and banned from JetBlue after profusely yelling and swearing at children on the plane with them.
