Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for September 18th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: AMISH DUI

Police officers often say no traffic stop is routine and there was nothing routine when a deputy pulled over an Amish buggy early Sunday morning in North Bloomfield, Ohio. The deputy was on patrol in the heart of Trumbull County’s Amish community when he spotted a buggy uniquely outfitted with a large stereo system on Donley Road, WJW reports. According to his report, he saw two Amish men drinking inside the buggy, a 12-pack of beer on top of the vehicle. When the deputy attempted to stop and question the two men about drinking and driving, they jumped out of the buggy and ran, disappearing into a heavily wooded area on the side of the road. According to the report, the horse pulling the buggy took off running, and the deputy gave chase, eventually catching up with it a short distance away. “I’ve never operated an Amish buggy with a horse, but I’m told that the horse will know the way home regardless of whether the operator is awake or even in the buggy, and that horse went a little further down the road and onto an oil/gas well road and stopped,” said Trumbull County Chief Deputy Joe Dragovich. The deputy had the buggy towed from the scene and the horse was turned over to a local farmer for safekeeping until the owner can be identified. In a rite of passage known as Rumspringa, younger members of the Amish community are permitted to experiment with influences from the outside world, but authorities in Trumbull County said they have a duty to enforce the law in Amish country the same way they do in the rest of the county. “Unfortunately, they’re not licensed as far as the buggy goes, but it is a vehicle, it’s on the roadway and the OVI laws do apply. You’re not allowed to drink and drive or operate a buggy,” Dragovich said. Once authorities identify the two members of the Amish community, they could be charged with failure to comply with the deputy’s commands. “Maybe there’s just that fear of the consequences and that would be a reality check for them, that there are consequences, but I encourage them to come forward and get their buggy and horse,” Dragovich said. Read More 

Boner Candidate #2: I WISH HE WAS THE MISSING MAN

A Coos County man was arrested Saturday on indecency and escape charges after being mistaken for a man reported missing earlier, Coos County Sheriff’s Office reports. Around 12:40 p.m. on September 14, a Coos County deputy traveling west on Newmark Avenue in Coos Bay observed a man matching the description of an individual that had been reported missing the day before. As the deputy was walking up to him he noticed it wasn’t the missing person which had been reported. The deputy also realized the man “was masturbating onto a piece of rusted metal, in full view of the public,” the sheriff’s office said. The man, identified as 31-year-old Mark A. Dixon, was taken into custody. While the deputy was attempting to secure him in the back of his patrol vehicle, Dixon began running away with his hands cuffed behind his back. The deputy caught him and secured him in the back of the patrol vehicle where he was transported to the Coos County Jail without further incident, lodged and booked for Public Indecency and Escape in the Third Degree. Read More 

Boner Candidate #3: IT IS A VERB FOR NEGOTIATING.

The president of a Trenton, New Jersey, council earlier this month said her city’s assistant attorney was able to get the most out of a personal injury claim against the city, as they settled at a lower amount because they were “able to wait her out and Jew her down.” Trenton City Council President Kathy McBride made the remarks during an executive session of the council on September 5, and later told the New Jersey Globe she could not elaborate on using the term because of laws that pertain to closed sessions. “I am not at privilege to speak about anything at executive session per the law that governs executive sessions,” McBride said. “It was an executive session and by the law I am not privy to speak on that per the law.” When later pressed to answer if she used derogatory marks in the closed session, she said she would not comment on “hypotheticals.” Then last weekend, councilwoman Robin Vaughn from Trenton’s West Ward made remarks that showed support for McBride, saying the term “Jew down” was a verb meaning to negotiate fiercely, and in no way a hateful term. “We really need to get a more acute meaning and understanding of ‘anti-Semitic.’ I believe her comment ‘Jew down’ was more in reference to negotiating, not ‘I hate Jews,'” Vaughn said in a New Jersey Globe report published Sunday. “Inappropriate in today’s PC culture absolutely, but to Jew someone down is a verb and is not anti-anything or indicative of hating Jewish people.” Read More 

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: I WALKED PART OF THE WAY

A woman is facing charges after driving to the police station while intoxicated to pick up her boyfriend who had already been arrested for DUI. Kristen Robbins, 30, is facing DUI charges for her role in the incident. On September 12, police say that Robbins came to the Chambersburg Police Station to pick up her boyfriend who had been arrested for DUI. Upon arrival, police found that Robbins was intoxicated. Further investigation revealed that Robbins had driven near the area of the station, and parked her vehicle along Central Avenue in Chambersburg before walking inside. She was arrested for DUI, and will now face charges. Read More 

Boner Candidate #2: I’VE BEEN UP-SKIRTING FOREVER

A man who claimed he had been taking pictures of women without their knowledge for 17 years has been arrested for investigation of voyeurism.Michael Anthony Rogers, 39, was arrested Sunday and booked into the Salt Lake County Jail for investigation of voyeurism by electronic equipment. The alleged incident happened on Aug. 23 at a Kohl’s store, 1154 E. Brickyard Road. Rogers used his phone “to secretly record the clothed (genital) area of a 62-year-old female, by sneaking up behind her (within 1 to 2 feet), squatting down low behind her, and filming up at (her) area that was clothed in a yoga style pants,” according to the jail booking report. The incident was recorded on the store’s surveillance video and police were able to track Rogers down on Sunday, the report states. “He admitted he had been filming women out in public for the past 17 years. Rogers admitted to going into Kohl’s on two occasions to film women. Rogers acknowledged that he crossed a line by getting so close and squatting down in order to make a video,” according to the report. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THE CURE FOR PINK EYE MAY SURPRISE YOU.

Arie Luyendyk Jr. is the latest celebrity to praise the powers of breast milk. The former Bachelor used the home remedy to cure redness in his eye and documented the entire process on Monday night on Instagram for his followers. “Okay, so this is a bit of a sensitive subject, but — I don’t know if I have pink eye, but my eye is red,” Luyendyk, 37, says in a video on his Instagram Stories. “You can’t really see it because it’s like dark in here, but Lauren said that breast milk is actually a remedy for that. So I looked online and actually, it does say that.” And while a quick Google search on the subject does result in plenty of parenting blogs suggesting breast milk as a home cure for babies and children, the American Academy of Ophthalmology says that “there is no science that supports using breast milk for pink eye and it could be more harmful than helpful.” Nonetheless, Luyendyk, 37, and wife Lauren Burnham, who gave birth to their daughter Alessi just four months ago, carry on with their experiment. “I’m all about the home remedies,” Luyendyk quips in the video. Read More 

 


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