Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for June 22nd, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: HE SHOULD BE EASY TO IDENTIFY

 

 

 

 

 

Deputies in Brown and Adams counties are searching for a suspect who might have some trouble not getting noticed. Anthony Ward faces charges of breaking and entering, theft and receiving stolen property in Brown County. Deputies say he’s also wanted for questioning in other break-ins. Ward has a very distinctive facial tattoo. He also goes by the nickname ‘Popeye.’ Investigators say Dottie Worthington is with Ward. They are believed to be driving a black Chevy Cruz.

Boner Candidate #2: SCOTTY NEEDS TACTICAL PANTS.

Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt has spent even more taxpayer money on security expenses than the millions previously disclosed, The Intercept found, including thousands on tactical clothing. EPA records released under the Freedom of Information Act reveal Pruitt’s spending on security has reached $4.6 million ― an increase of $1.1 million since a previous disclosure just one month ago, according to The Intercept. The latest reports show $288,610 in security-related items in April, including $2,749.62 for “tactical pants” and “tactical polos.” Since the beginning of the year, Pruitt’s office has made seven orders for tactical clothing and body armor costing taxpayers $24,115.  The EPA administrator’s other expenses include $88,603 for radios and accessories, like holsters and travel chargers.

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Boner Candidate #3: WE DON’T CARE NO MORE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It seems like nowhere is safe to eat these days after another fast food restaurant has gone viral for some foolery. An employee at a Raising Cane’s in Missouri has been fired after a video of the woman stirring the restaurant’s iced tea with her arm went viral, WWLTV reports. The employee and another female are heard laughing before she poured the tea into the chicken restaurant’s dispenser! The caption on the video reads, “Don’t drink tea from Cane’s, she tryflin cause we don’t care no more.” Raising Cane’s officials have since apologized for the disturbing video and say the employees involved have been fired and that they are launching a full investigation into the incident.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1:BUTT JUICE STABS A SNITCH

His nickname may be funny — but his crimes certainly were no laughing matter. A man known as “Butt Juice” was convicted in federal court on Tuesday for his involvement in several gang activities – including shootings, theft and drug activities. Lamont Jones, 25, a member of the “Up Da Hill” gang in Baltimore, was convicted of conspiracy to participate in a racketeering enterprise and two conspiracy charges involving the possession and distribution of drugs, according to The Baltimore Sun. He’ll be sentenced on Oct. 5, and he faces life in prison. Jones and other members of the gang sold crack, heroin and marijuana, according to authorities cited by WBFF in Baltimore. The gang, prosecutors said, sold the drugs in high quantities – at least one kilogram of heroin, five kilograms of cocaine, 280 grams of crack and large amounts of marijuana.

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Boner Candidate #2: JEFF, THE BIBLE SAYS THOU SHALT NOT LIE.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions said in an interview with Christian Broadcasting Network that “the American people don’’t like the idea that we are separating families. We never really intended to do that.” Attorney General Jeff Sessions said Thursday that the Trump administration “never really intended” to separate immigrant families on the border, a claim that is contradicted by an assertion that he and other officials have made in the past. In an interview with Christian Broadcasting Network that is set to air Friday, Sessions agreed that thousands of children ― some just months old ― being torn from their parents’ arms as a result of his new “zero tolerance” immigration policy didn’t make for great optics for the Trump administration. “It hasn’’t been good, and the American people don’’t like the idea that we are separating families. We never really intended to do that,” Sessions said.

Boner Candidate #3: SHOOT ‘EM ALL AT THE BORDER

An Oregon DMV worker is under fire for reportedly advocating shooting immigrants at the border in a post on social media. The employee, Lori McAllen, was placed on leave Thursday from the Oregon Department of Transportation after her Facebook post about immigration sparked backlash, the Oregonian reported. “I personally think they should shoot them all at the border and call it good,” McAllen reportedly wrote, according to screenshots circulating on social media. “It’ll save us hard working AMERICAN’S billions of dollars on our taxes!! ;)” Her comments were in response to the Trump administration’s controversial policy of separating migrant children from their parents. McAllen’s post quickly made rounds on social media as people called for her to be fired.“I call for the immediate dismissal of #LoriMcAllen this horrendous post is an abomination,” wrote one Twitter user. “Remember we are all immigrants, like her ancestors before her we all came her in a ship, boat, car or airplane.”

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