Round One
Boner Candidate #1: WE HAVE A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GERMANS
Washington (CNN)State Department spokeswoman Heather Nauert on Tuesday cited the D-Day invasion during an answer about the current state of US-German relations. “We have a very strong relationship with the government of Germany,” Nauert said. “Looking back in the history books, today is the 71st anniversary of the speech that announced the Marshall Plan. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the D-Day invasion. We obviously have a very long history with the government of Germany, and we have a strong relationship with the government of Germany.” Nauert’s comment came during a press briefing Tuesday after she was asked about controversial remarks by the US ambassadors to Germany and Israel.
Boner Candidate #2: YOU COULD SAY THEIR PLAN REALLY BOMBED
Authorities say two Florida men had an unusual plan for getting some unwelcome house guests to leave — they allegedly exploded bombs to scare them. Orlando prosecutors charged 56-year-old Bruce Steffenhagen and 37-year-old Nathan Martin with felony explosives charges after the two were arrested during a Tuesday standoff with sheriff’s deputies. According to court documents, Martin told Orange County sheriff’s investigators Steffenhagen wanted to kick two people out of an apartment attached to his home. He told investigators he and Steffenhagen decided to explode two acid bombs in the yard to scare them enough to make them leave. Detectives say Steffenhagen told them he knew the bombs would explode but did not think it would be a big deal. Both were being held Wednesday on $15,000 bail.
Boner Candidate #3: HONEY, DON’T FORGET YOUR BULLET SHIELD
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1:A MOTORBIKE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY; WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
A high school senior ended up in police custody on Tuesday after he was seen riding a dirt bike through the school’s hallway. The student, who was not identified by police, was charged with simple assault and disorderly conduct, according to the Roxbury Township Police Department. The assault charge came as a result of the bike’s handlebar making contact with a student, police said. Being struck by the handlebar only caused the student a “minor injury,” according to police. Video of the incident shows the student riding through the halls before being stopped and taken away in police custody. Police described the incident as a stunt. According to the school’s website it came on the same day as the senior yearbook signing and the day before Senior Academic Awards. There was no word as of Tuesday night whether the stunt would affect the student’s ability to go to prom next week or graduate with his class on June 21.
Boner Candidate #2: IT IS AN EXCITING TIME SCOTT.
Boner Candidate #3: LET’S JUST PUT AN ASSAULT WEAPON IN EVERY STUDENT LOCKER.
A Colorado sheriff’s department wants to store AR-15s inside schools — as a way of stopping a shooter faster, according to local reports. The Boulder County Sheriff’s Office pitched the idea to move rifles from school resource officers’ cars to safes inside of two schools, saying it would allow deputies to reach the guns and stop a potential shooter quicker, KOAA reported. Only the officers would have access to the vaults, using their fingerprints. Right now, it takes between 10 to 15 minutes for deputies to respond to Lyons Middle/Senior and Niwot High School, the Denver Post reported. “We’re seeing the number of school shootings increase,” said Robert Sullenberger, the division chief for Boulder County. “The vast majority of these school shootings are concluded within five to seven minutes, so the quicker that we can address this threat, the better off everyone is.”
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