Boners

Boner Fight for February 28th, 2019

Candidate #1: COME ON PAL HE’S AN OLD GUY AND IT’S JUST A HAT.

A New Jersey teenager was arrested on Wednesday for allegedly beating up an 81-year-old man because the victim was sporting a “Make America Great Again” hat, authorities said. Ryan M. Salvagno, 19, of Somerset, confronted the elderly man outside a Shop Rite in Franklin Township and started an argument over the red hat with President Trump’s slogan on it, according to the Somerset County Prosecutor’s Office. The elderly man then attempted to walk away with his groceries, but Salvagno grabbed the man’s MAGA hat and the two proceeded to struggle over the article of clothing, the prosecutor’s office said. The 19-year-old then allegedly grabbed the man’s arm, threw him to the ground, tipped over his cart of groceries, and tossed the hat aside. The suspect was charged with assault and harassment. He is scheduled to appear in court on March 14.

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Candidate #2: MEASLES? I’M NOT WORRIED. MEASLES ONLY KILL THOSE WEAK THIRD WORLD KIDS

A Texas state representative introduced legislation on Wednesday that would make it easier to opt out of childhood vaccinations, despite the resurgence of measles across the U.S. Republican State Rep. Bill Zedler, an outspoken anti-vaxxer, said he is not worried about the spread of vaccine-covered ailments because of “antibiotics.” “They want to say people are dying of measles. Yeah, in third-world countries they’re dying of measles,” Zedler said Tuesday. “Today, with antibiotics and that kind of stuff, they’re not dying in America.”

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