Boner Candidate #1: FLIRTY, FUN, AND FOND OF SULTRY SPACES.
Julia Varvaro, an employee of the Department of Homeland Security, has been accused of pursuing men on a sugar daddy website to fund her luxury lifestyle. Varvaro, 29, allegedly had a profile on seeking.com, a website that connects young singles with older, wealthier partners to spoil them. On the profile she describe herself as “flirty, fun, and fond of sultry spaces,” and said she offered “seductive sophistication.” The profile was revealed by Varvaro’s ex-boyfriend, an older executive and divorced father. The had met on a different dating app and over the course of three months, he spent $40,000 on her. The relationship came to an end when he refused to keep spending money on her, which lead to him file a complaint with the DHS’s Office exposing the alleged Seeking.com profile.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: WE THINK WE’VE FOUND THE DUMBEST MEMBER OF CONGRESS AND THEN AN NEW ONE POPS UP
Clay Fuller, the newly elected congressman, has humiliated himself on social media after claiming that the state of Georgia was named after George Washington. Fuller posted an unusual video about his stay at a “woke” hotel in Maryland. The representative claimed that the air conditioner was shut off as a part of “Green Deal nonsense.” So Fuller, went down to the front desk and asked if someone could come fix it. Fuller goes on to claimed that the front desk worker told him only people listed as VIPs had access to the air conditioning controls, prompting Fuller to question why he was not on the list as he was from Georgia. “I said, ‘Well, Georgia is named after George Washington,’ who quite literally invented freedom,” Fuller continued. This is incorrect as the state was named after King George II of England. “Just stayed at a hotel in Maryland for work,” the caption read. “Turns out their AC units shut off while you sleep as part of some new woke Green New Deal nonsense…It’s a terrible policy that’s making their state like Europe.”
Boner Candidate #3: KASH PATEL’S LAWSUIT AGAINST THE ATLANTIC IS “FEABLE.”
Kash Patel has filed a defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic that contains multiple spelling and copy-edit errors including misspelled words and formatting inconsistencies in passages. The 19‑page complaint, filed in federal court in Washington, D.C. last Monday, accuses The Atlantic of knowingly publishing lies and false information. But a close review of the lawsuit itself reveals several basic errors in spelling. Patel’s lawsuit is seeking at least $250 million in damages, repeatedly emphasizing accuracy, fact-checking and editorial rigor. Court filings are typically reviewed by multiple attorneys before submission.
