Boners

Boner of the Day for April 20th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1:HOW MUCH IS THE FREE TESTING?

A Utah woman said she was shocked to receive a large bill for her COVID-19 test, which is supposed to be free. On the morning of March 31,Renee Scheering was following protocol. “I was just following the procedure that told you to call that 800 number and see if you’re eligible for testing,” said Renee. Like thousands before her, when Renee noticed a symptom she called the COVID hotline, and made her way to a drive-up testing facility. “The one that [the COVID hotline] went to was Intermountain and that’s why I chose it,” Renee said. She dealt with the uncomfortable nasal swab and within 45 minutes was on her way. But a few days later, she was shocked to find a bill from Intermountain Healthcare in the amount of $150 in her mailbox. “I was very, very upset,” said Renee. “[State leaders] wanted as many people tested as possible, so I figured it was free testing.”

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BONER CANDIDATE #2:IF THE PRESIDENT CAN THREATEN PEOPLE WHY CAN’T I?

A man was arrested Friday after police say he called the Salt Lake City Mayor’s office with a violent threat. Marlin Richard Baer, 58, threatened that Mayor Erin Mendenhall would be “forcibly removed from office” if she didn’t “open up the city,” according to the arrest report. “There’s a protest tomorrow and if things don’t change, a civil war is coming, and the police can’t stop me,” he also reportedly said. Police say Baer also posted a comment on the Facebook page of the Saturday’s protest, saying: “Bring your guns, the civil war starts Saturday. Be prepared to defend our god given constitutional right. Let no man stand us under the time is now.” Baer was arrested on suspicion of “threat of terrorism” and “electronic communication harassment,” both misdemeanors.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: I’M OPPOSED TO YOUR TENNIS

Novak Djokovic says his opposition to vaccinations may get in the way of his return to competitive tennis. “Personally I am opposed to vaccination and I wouldn’t want to be forced by someone to take a vaccine in order to be able to travel,” the world No 1 said in a live Facebook chat with several fellow Serbian athletes on Sunday. “But if it becomes compulsory, what will happen? I will have to make a decision. “I have my own thoughts about the matter and whether those thoughts will change at some point, I don’t know. “Hypothetically, if the season was to resume in July, August or September, though unlikely, I understand that a vaccine will become a requirement straight after we are out of strict quarantine and there is no vaccine yet.”

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ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1:I GOT THE CURE.

Federal prosecutors this week charged a Southern California doctor with selling coronavirus treatments online — including a drug repeatedly promoted by President Trump — as a “100 percent” cure, officials said. The doctor, Jennings Ryan Staley, 44, a licensed physician and the owner of Skinny Beach Med Spa in San Diego, was charged with mail fraud on Thursday for his role in selling “Covid-19 treatment packs” that included the medications hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin, the United States Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of California said in a statement. Mr. Trump has promoted hydroxychloroquine as a “what have you got to lose” remedy. The treatment packs were billed as a “concierge medicine experience,” and retailed “at $3,995 for a family of four, that included among other things access to Dr. Staley,” the two medications, and “anti-anxiety treatments to help you avoid panic if needed and help you sleep,” prosecutors said.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2:GIVE YOUR STIMULUS MONEY TO ME

A Louisiana pastor who defied state orders and repeatedly held large church services during the coronavirus pandemic is now asking congregants to donate their stimulus checks to the church.
Pastor Tony Spell launched what he called the #PastorSpellStimulusChallenge, asking Americans to donate their government stimulus checks to evangelists, missionaries and music ministers who he said have not received offerings in over a month. He said he, his wife and his son have all donated their checks, and added that those without a church can donate through his website. Asked by CNN’s Victor Blackwell on Sunday why he is asking “people who you know don’t have much” to hand over their $1,200 stimulus checks, Spell said it was because some evangelists and missionaries don’t receive stimulus money. “We are challenging you, if you can, give your stimulus package to evangelists and missionaries, who do not get the stimulus package,” he told CNN Sunday.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3:I GOT THE COVID YA CAN’T COME IN

A wanted Florida man tried to keep officers away with a sign warning that he had tested positive for the coronavirus, according to the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office. “Placing a fake “Covid-19″ sign on your door will not stop us from kicking it in when you have felony warrants for your arrest,” the sheriff’s office wrote in a news release. Joshua Price, 28, apparently scrawled “COVID 19 infected since 4/8/20” in blue ink on a sheet of paper and used electrical tape to stick it to his front door. Deputies and detectives donned protective gear to arrest Price Thursday at the Bardin, Florida residence. Price was wanted on a felony charge of flee and elude law enforcement and violation of probation warrants. “The investigation revealed that the suspect created the fake sign as his idea to avoid arrest,” according to the release. The sheriff’s office found “no indication” that Price had contracted COVID-19.

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