Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for April 27th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1:WANNA RACE?COME ON, I’LL RACE YA.

Police in Elkhart County, Ind., arrested a Ford Mustang driver last week after he sped by them doing 120 mph in a 70 mph zone on the Indiana Toll Road and led them on a 25-mile chase that he claims he thought was a race. The Indiana State Police troopers were parked in a crossover near the RV/MH Hall of Fame when they spotted the car heading westboud and began a pursuit with their lights and siren engaged, according to a police report. They said that when they caught up to the Mustang, the driver turned his lights out and kept going at over 100 mph. Support was called in and a stop stick was deployed in the road that he Mustang evaded, but a few miles later a second one deflated his tires and he pulled over without incident.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2:HELL, I WAS IN VIETMAN. THERE WAS MORE BUGS THERE.

A crowd of a few thousand gathered at Wisconsin’s State Capitol on Friday, the latest demonstration by conservative activists against statewide stay-at-home orders meant to slow the spread of the coronavirus. The protesters, bearing Trump campaign attire, Tea Party regalia and American flags, condemned Gov. Tony Evers, a Democrat, and his extension of “Safer at Home,” a declaration requiring Wisconsinites to practice social distancing and to close nonessential businesses through May 26. It was one of the nation’s largest gatherings to date to condemn stay-at-home orders enacted by state and local governments. And while Wisconsin’s elected Republicans and party officials encouraged people to attend, none spoke and only a few were spotted in the crowd. The Madison rally came as conservative groups have been encouraging resistance to stay-at-home orders across the country.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3:IT WAS ABOVE BOARD. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

The state of Utah’s contract to buy a bunch of antimalarial drugs its backers touted as a treatment for COVID-19 was disastrous in almost every imaginable way. There is still no reliable evidence that the drugs help treat this virus, just as the experts have been saying from the start.After a Veterans Administration study found no benefits from the drugs and, indeed, potential harms, the National Institutes of Health and the Food and Drug Administration warned against using them outside of a hospital setting. And Utah taxpayers are the proud owners of $800,000 in useless pills. Well, sort of. The pharmacy, Meds In Motion, still hasn’t delivered them, nearly a month after the contract was signed. What’s more, as I discovered Friday, the state paid far, far more for the medications than they were ever worth. How much more? Your $800,000 was supposed to buy 20,000 packets, each with seven pills in them. That means it would cost $40 per packet, or just under $5.75 per tablet.

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ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1:FLORIDA IS GOD’S WAITING ROOM

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on Sunday said his state was ‘God’s waiting room’ and ‘ground zero’ for coronavirus deaths given the large senior citizen population in the Sunshine State. DeSantis made the remark during a briefing on the state’s response to the coronavirus in Orlando on Sunday. ‘Florida is ground zero for the nursing home, we’re God’s waiting room,’ the governor said. ‘We have a huge number of facilities, a huge number of residents.’ Governor Ron DeSantis was criticized online on Sunday after joking that Florida was ‘God’s waiting room.’ He made the remark during a coronavirus briefing in Orlando on Sunday (above) ‘God’s waiting room’ is a reference to an old joke about Florida being a favored destination for retirees.

BONER CANDIDATE #2:’CAUSE THAT’S HOW YA DO.

A Louisiana hothead was so enraged that he hadn’t received his COVID-19 stimulus check, he set his mom’s shed on fire, authorities said. Marvin Smith Jr., 51, was squabbling with his mother over the federal payout in the Hamburg neighborhood of Avoyelles Parish when he intentionally ignited the shed just before 1 p.m. Friday, according to the Louisiana Office of State Fire Marshal. Witnesses told deputies Smith was inside the shed moments before smoke and flames began billowing from it, officials said. He then fled. The Avoyelles Parish Sheriff’s Office later busted Smith, who was armed with a knife. He was booked into jail on an arson charge, and was charged with other crimes by the sheriff’s office, officials said.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: CAT THROWIN’ ON THE PLANNING COMMISSION.

A planning commissioner of Vallejo, California, has resigned after throwing his pet cat and apparently drinking a beer during a Zoom meeting between city officials that was made public, according to a newspaper report. During the April 20 teleconference of the city’s Planning Commission, Chris Platzer announced, “I’d like to introduce my cat,” and then picked up his pet before suddenly tossing the animal off-screen. Platzer was seen sipping from a green bottle during the meeting, the Times-Herald reported. After the conference ended he could be heard making derogatory remarks. “I’m going to call bull— on you little b—s,” according to the original commission meeting video released by the Northern California city. In an email to the Times-Herald on Saturday, Platzer said he has resigned from the planning commission, effective immediately.

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