Boner Candidate #1: IT’S PART OF THE GRAND-SPORTING TRADITION.
Utah man Tony LeBlanc, an assistant attorney general, has been placed on leave while he is under investigation for allegations made by a Westminster College soccer player. Naomi Kehl is suing LeBlanc, who coaches women’s soccer at Westminster after he encouraged freshman girls to participate in “initiation rituals” that included answering inappropriate sexual questions. In the lawsuit, Kehl states that girls would be benched from games if they did not participate.
Boner Candidate #2: IT WAS A FREAK ACCIDENT, HONEST.
A 47-year-old Nepalese man needed emergency surgery after doctors found that he had inserted a glass cup into his rectum three days previously. The man initially said it was a freak accident before admitting he had been intoxicated and attempted to use the glass for sexual gratification.
Boner Candidate #3: YOU MUST SURRENDER THE GOAT.
Last year, California woman Jessica Long purchased a baby goat for her daughter’s participation in the 4-H program at the Shasta District Fair. This program is to teach kids how to raise and take care of livestock before they are sold for slaughter at auction. Long’s daughter became extremely bonded to the goat over the three months they were together so Long requested to pay to save the goat from slaughter. Her request was denied and sheriffs were sent to her home with a search warrant for the goat and the goat was taken and slaughtered.
