Boner Candidate #1: EASTER BUNNY BEAT DOWN
In Naples, Florida, a trio of teens were accused of attacking a Florida mall employee in an Easter Bunny costume this past Sunday. The 24-year-old worker told police that she was on her way to the break room at the mall when the teenagers approached her- the two 13-year-olds and 14-year-old boy pushed, shoved and then pulled at her costume. Two of them were placed under arrest for battery (misdemeanor) and then the third boy met the criteria for Juvenile Civil citation for Battery (misdemeanor). Police were able to find a witness to corroborate the employee’s story.
Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS REACHIN’ FOR A SNACK AND KA-BLOOEY!
In Spotsylvania Virgina- parents of the third grader have been arrested after their child and student at Lee Hill Elementary School brought a handgun and accidentally discharged it during class this past Monday. The third-grade student found the handgun at home and put it into his backpack, at some point the child reached into his bag and accidentally fired the gun. It was apparently snack-time, and he went in to reach his snack from his bag and inadvertently pulled the trigger on the handgun. The parents of the child are facing multiple charges including; recklessly leaving a loaded, unsecured firearm (misdemeanor) and having custody of a child, willfully or negligently cause of engenderment (felony). They have been released on a $5,000 bail and have an arraignment on April 11th.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: KRISTI GETS TO COS PLAY AS AN ICE AGENT
Kristi Noem, who is Donald Trump’s secretary of Homeland Security, was condemned this past Tuesday over a photo op in which she accidentally pointed a gun at a border patrol officer’s head. A clip Noem posted to X, she is standing between two officers and says, “Here we are with Marco and Brian today.” While Noem is wearing tactical gear and joining operations for the cameras has become a routine in the past weeks.
